ghostharasser | Open Post

[Well. They did not find Mabel and Ford, they did not find a way out, and they did not find a counter to whatever the monster business was all about. All in all, it’s been a pretty terrible time for both Dipper and Stan.]

[Despite days of searching, even Dipper’s stubborn optimism was bound to give out. With the sinking realization that they were trapped here alone for the next foreseeable future, the two had to worry about a few more pressing issues. They didn’t exactly have anywhere to go, or any connections. Frankly it’s a miracle neither of them had been arrested for the sheer volume of petty thievery they’ve both resorted to in order to get by, but frankly it was starting to wear on Dipper.]

[To keep from going nuts from stress, Dipper has turned to collecting every scrap of housing advertisement he’s been able to find. Fliers, newspapers, classified, etc. He’s combing through them for anything that might be reasonable.]

Hey Grunkle Stan, this one says its on the edge of town and missing half the roof. I bet we could get away squatting there a few weeks before they noticed.

[It’s a shame reasonable mean free. Man, adult budgeting was stressful.]

[ Stan's used to holding on to a tiny, stubborn spark of hope even in the face of miserable odds. If he can live through 30 years or ceaseless work netting him nothing but failure after failure, then he can hold out hope about escaping this stupid place just a little longer.

He's also used to being homeless and jobless. It's the sort of thing that never really leaves you, even after 30 years with a stable living situation and a steady source of income. It hadn't been so bad this time--at first. It had even been sort of fun--at first. Teaching Dipper how to shoplift, dine and dash, spot security systems, pick out easy targets for scams, tell when a crowd is about to go sour... Definitely not wholesome activities, but family bonding is family bonding and Stan hadn't let himself fuss about it too much--at first.

It's not until their second night that he starts to worry. It's not like Dipper can't handle a little bit of roughing it. He'd survived for days in Bill's apocalyptic hellscape all on his own. But there's something different about this. There shouldn't be, but being homeless not because a murderous triangle dressed like Mr. Peanut turned your town inside out, but because you simply don't have the money to have a home is just a little too prosaic.

It's exhausting. Stan remembered that much, but he's had so many really, really low points in his life he'd forgotten that even the not-so-bad parts still suck. And that's what has him worried - this is the 'not-so-bad' part. They'd both eaten recently before ending up here. They're both in okay shape. It's not too cold outside. There's lots of public buildings, gyms, late-night cafes, and 24 hour convenience stores. It's exhausting, but things could get so worse with no warning at all.

So on that second night, once he's sure Dipper has somewhere secure to stay, he heads out. He's way too old for his preferred 'I need money and I need it right now' method (illegal boxing matches) to earn him anything but a broken jaw, but he knows plenty of other tricks. He liberates a few people of their wallets and uses the cash to buy in to a few round of pool, poker, blackjack, rummy... whatever he can find that people are playing. He cheats, counts cards, plays up being more drunk than he really is, and even wins a few games fair and square. By the end of the night he walks away with enough cash that he and Dipper don't have to dine and dash for breakfast (though they still do, of course), and repeating this process earns them a room at the cheapest, seediest motel that doesn't have anyone actively committing crimes on the corner.

The whole time, of course, he maintains a casual, unaffected demeanor, treating it like an unusual outing more than anything. If he lets on that things aren't fine then the kid will really start to worry, and that's the last thing either of them need. So while he doesn't have high hopes for Dipper's house hunting project, he also doesn't tell him to stop, figuring anything that keeps him occupied is good for him. That ends up being a prudent decision, because the house that Dipper shows Stan actually looks pretty promising. ]

Well whatdaya know? Good eye, kid.

[ Stan's definitely crashed in worse places - and less money spent on a hotel means more money they can stash away for a real place to stay.

... Ugh. When did he get so responsible? ]

Let's just hope no one else beat us there. Rather not have to chase off any bums.

[That’s what happens when you have to look out for more than just your own skin, Stan.]

Or monsters. Though, I haven’t noticed a lot of the monsters squatting. Lurking? Sure, but not squatting. I wonder where they’re getting their income.

[Do they have jobs?? Is there an employment office for monsters here? Wacky. Something else he is going to have to look into. If nothing else, this place has no shortage of things for him to poke his nose into. He’d be way more invested in the mysteries if he weren’t also preoccupied with their living situation.]

We could scout it out first, to be safe. If we head out now, it should only take ...maybe two hours to get to the house from here.

Saw lotsa monster bouncers.

[ Kind of a cliche, obvious choice, but not one Stan could argue with. Even he thought twice about cheating the first time he saw a hulking, irritated troll standing outside a poorly lit dive bar (not that it had actually stopped him). ]

Guess there's lots of monster charity here, too?

[ Well, who cares. Two hours is a bit of a hike, but that's not too bad - he's had to walk further to get groceries when the Stanleymobile broke down. 'Acquiring' a car to make the trip a little shorter does occur to him but... meh. Sounds like a pain. ]

Well, let's get going then.

Monster charity? What, so we have to get turned into some hideous creature before this place will give us a hand? Lame.

[That hasn’t exactly left his mind, this monster business, but it feels far enough away (and surreal as hell) that he hasn’t been dwelling on it very hard. It does ...give him a passing thought that makes him pause.]

I wonder how hard it would be to fake being a monster.

[Wow, that is the most Stan-like thought he has had yet, and it kind of startles him. Well, he’ll have time later to feel bad about all the sketchy shit they’ve gotten up to when they have a roof over their heads and actual food to eat.]

Edited 2020-09-11 00:27 (UTC)

[ ... Heh heh. ]

You made a pretty convincing wolf boy.

[ He never did figure out where that costumes got to, come to think of it, though the shredder getting jammed with dog hair gave him some ideas. ]

But I dunno if the people here are dumb enough for that. They seem a little more wary than the folks back home.

[Oh god. The wolf boy costume.]

Oh, right. I repressed that memory.

[He’s not even remotely sorry about it ending up in the paper shredder. That’s what Stan gets.]

You’ve got a point. I don’t know if I’d call them smarter, but they really seemed more inclined to start angry mobs than people back home.

[Well, it’s off they go. It really sucks they don’t have a car they can just take, or the money for a cab. At least this kind of hike isn’t the worst Dipper has had to make. He worries a little about Stan, but he knows better than to say anything until he’s literally keeling over.]

[ Stan hasn't been having any trouble with the rough living, at least. He's still, you know, old and overweight and dealing with forty-odd years of not taking great care of himself, but he's in the best shape he's been in years. Turns out even just standing and walking on a boat takes effort, and Ford refuses to let them live off bacon and junk food. ]

Yeah, exactly. Plus there's not a bunch of whackjobs in bathrobes erasing everyone's memories.

[ Stan doesn't mind them too much - they never bothered him any, and without their gun Bill couldn't have been stopped - but they were undeniably weird. ]

But hey, if it makes 'em wary about kicking us out, I'll take it.

[Honestly, He’s seen Stan take down a Zombie hoard with his bare hands. He doesn’t worry that much, but he does want to make sure he doesn’t over do it when they have zero access to medical help.]

Haha, yeah... Those guys...

[Wait.]

I don’t think we ever told you about them. How did you—

[Is this something else Stan’s known about the whole time?]

Ford.

[ Stan had known a lot of things about Gravity Falls that he hadn't let on, by the Society of the Blind Eye wasn't one of them. ]

He got real bent out of shape when I asked him why he made a memory-erasing gun, and even angrier when I compared it to that tie of his.

[ Stan looks a little smug as he relates the story. Eventually Ford had realized Stan was just winding him up, but not before he'd ranted a bit first. ]

Guess it makes sense, though. Always thought it was weird everyone acted like McGucket was crazy when he started yelling about that Gobblewhatchit.

[ A boring old lake monster was nothing compared to some of the stuff Stan had seen. ]

[Dipper is about to pipe up with a “WELL, ACTUALLY-“ about the inventor of that gun, when it becomes clear to him that Stan knew and was absolutely menacing Ford about it on purpose. Instead he sighs and rolls his eyes, but fondly. It’s really not that different from when Mabel purposely gets him going and then laughs about it. Annoying, but somehow endearing. Though, he suspects Ford did not take it near as gracefully.]

The Gobblewonker- which, of all things in Gravity Falls, turned out to be an actual hoax! McGucket made that robot!

[Which- honestly Stan probably could have guessed since it got worked into their Mystery Shack Mech.]

[ Neither Ford nor Stan can take anything even half as gracefully as Dipper and Mabel. Needless to say, Ford have been positively incensed over the teasing (for about ten minutes). ]

Some dumb fish monster's pretty normal by that town's standards. You ever run into any campfires with legs out there? Those are weird.

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