ghostharasser | Open Post

[Dipper's surrounded by a tour group of at least a dozen people - some are gawking at him, many are looking up at the hole that wasn't there before, and others are demanding to know what's going on, but they aren't asking Dipper. They're asking the tour guide at the front of the group, the infamous Mr. Mystery himself.

Stan had admittedly jumped with everyone else when the kid fell out of literally nowhere, but now he's ignoring the questions and thinking on his feet. After a beat, Stan turns to address the crowd.]

And here we have our final stop on the tour, the uh-- [Think think think.] --the Time Lad! Fresh from Ye Olde Gravity Falls Ren Faire 2012!

[Then, as a definitely too loud "stage whisper" to the crowd:] I'd tell him Ren Faires have never been cool, buuuuuut I wouldn't wanna break time and space any more than he already broke it.

[This calms the crowd down enough for them to laugh as if Dipper is any other attraction, and a couple of tourists even snap pictures! Everyone has a grand old time except, presumably, for Dipper.]

Alright, alright, gift shop's that way folks - make sure you buy something on the way out!

[And he shoos them all to the exit door, waiting for them all to go before turning his attention back Dipper, gesturing with his 8-ball cane.]

So, you wanna explain how you almost murdered the Sascrotch?

[He’s in the Mystery Shack. He’s in the Mystery Shack and Stan is making a spectacle out of him.]

[He would cry if he wouln’t also very offended at the same time. But of course he kind of has to go along with it. There sure is a swirling vortex still poised over the Sascrotch, and Dipper has slowly gotten to his feet.]

I’m sorry, Time Lad? Really? I guess it’s better than wolf boy. Nice to see you too, Grunkle Stan.

[Dipper pats himself off and looks …up at Stan. Stan is still taller than him, but it’s a little surreal to see this version of his grunkle and only be a few inches shy of eye level.]

[Actually. What …point in time is this? He glances around. Is…wait. Is this before their summer? During? It shouldn’t be after because-]

Uh. [Shit, should he be saying all this?? Is he going to fuck up the timeline?] I mean- Hahaha, wow, what a crazy, unexplained localized tornado I just blew in on. Sorry about your Sascrotch!!

[Yeah, that's not going to work - not after his original slip up there.]

Grunkle?

[He raises an eyebrow. The first thought he has is that this is a pretty obvious scam. His only nephew is a preteen, or at least that's what the last holiday card he got said. It's been a while since he's seen those kids now, but it's not like he gets a lot of chances to get away from the Shack. So, this kid has to be trying to pull a long lost relative con on him, right?

Except...that doesn't actually make sense with the way he backpedals. The kid didn't even try to sway him, he just panicked and gave up on it. Huh. ...Weird. Almost like the first thing was the real thing.]

Uh. ...Pretty sure tornados don't hold still like that.

[He gestures up at the rip in space time, which is still hanging out just above the Sascrotch.]

You really gotta work on your lying if you're gonna go around trying to con people. Now, who are you and what the heck is that thing you fell out of?

You don't know that. This is Gravity Falls. This place gets blood rain, whose to say it doesn't get sentient tornadoes that can stay still.

[He will stubbornly try to hold his ground there for as long as he can, but honestly, remembering how some of the last conversations he's had with Stan, it doesn't take much for him to give.]

[He rubs the back of his neck, trying to figure out if there's a way to explain this that won't get him immediately ejected from the shack.]

It's a rip in space-time. I fell through it while trying to investigate them cropping up where I'm from, and I guess it sent me here.

[Stan scoffs and crosses his arms.]

I've been here almost thirty years longer than you! I'm pretty sure I'd know if we got indoor tornados that can't move by now!

[It's hard to hold onto the stubbornness when the kid deflates like that though. 'Rip in space time' grabs his attention immediately though, and he glances back to the door he just sent the tour group through. He runs the numbers in his head for a minute, weighing some things in his head, and then finally he points at the intruder.]

Stay put and don't touch anything.

[Then, Stan leaves! Fortunately, this man's never had an indoor voice in his life, so he can be heard pretty easily:]

SOOS! NO MORE TOURS TODAY! HANG UP THE SIGN!

WHAT? NO WE'RE NOT CLOSING. ARE YOU OUTTA YOUR MIND? JUST, I DUNNO. CLEAN UP THE SHOP AND RING UP ANYONE WHO TURNS UP AT THE REGISTER WHILE I TAKE CARE OF. A THING.

...SURE, WHATEVER. YOU DO THAT. JUST DON'T LET ANYBODY COME IN HERE, NO MATTER WHAT.

[Then he's back, slamming the door behind him.]

Alright. A time space...thing. A portal?

[Stan leaves and Dipper immediately takes that time to look around the shack. He refrains from touching, sure, but he is going to snoop as much as he can while Stan is gone. Anything to give himself some kind of indicator of when he is.]

[It also …it certainly hits him a kind of way to be back in this place after all these years. To his credit, he only has to take off his glasses once to do something about the gross emotions.]

[Okay, so no calendar…but. Stan left the 8-ball cane by the door. Keeping an ear out for the conversation he very carefully puts his hand on the 8-ball and concentrates. He can’t control what he’ll see when he does this, but with luck maybe it will tell him what he wants.]

[The flash he gets is …well. It tells him what he wants to know, but at what cost. That poor broccoli-bed kid. Stan what the fuck.]

[Stan comes back and Dipper does everything he can to make it look like he is not doing anything suspicious. He winds up leaning against a post, sliding right off of it when Stan comes in, smacking his entire face against the pole, flinging his glasses off in a spectacular show of grace.]

Portal! It- yeah, it’s kind of like a portal. I don’t know if it’s two-way yet, so I don’t think we should poke our heads back in it, but- yeah. Ow.

[Despite everything, Stan can't help laughing at the poor kid.]

Sheesh, you didn't even have to fall outta the ceiling that time!

[Ah, having a laugh at the expense of a teenager - one of Stan's favorite past times! But unfortunately, there's more important things on his mind and he has to move on.]

What's on the other side of it? Do you know what made it open up?

[He's actually taking it seriously - almost like he believes him. That being said, he kind of half-expects another bullshit answer, so he moves closer to it and tries to see if he can see anything when he looks inside. The last portal he had the displeasure of seeing was just blinding light with no hint of what might be on the other side.]

[Dipper checks his glasses, and slides them back on.]

Yeah, yeah, yuck it up.

[He expects this and loves Stan anyway. He guesses.]

I don't, actually. I was trying to figure that out when I fell into one. The other side ...presumably, is where I came from, and it's...uh, how do I explain Trench. A blood-soaked hellscape full of monsters.

[He coughs.]

It's not perfect, but it's home.

So basically Gravity Falls in blood rain season.

[That's what he's hearing anyway, whether or not the kid confirms it. In Gravity Falls it's not all that apocalyptic since everyone's kinda used to it. Everything just reeks of copper and he sells a ton of umbrellas.

The portal part answers some questions and raises others, but Stan keeps a poker face and decides to tackle something else.]

You got a name?

[This time he doesn't ask it with anything else - the kid keeps avoiding that one and it's time to corner him on it.]

Yeah, pretty much. It's a little grungier. Like Gravity falls but the whole town is set inside an Edgy On Purpose.

[Ah, he is not surprised it came back around to this. He kind of hoped being avoidant would buy him a little time to come up with a game plan, but he really didn't. He could either lie or tell the truth. He could disrupt the timeline or ...he could be wildly more selfish.]

...Dipper.

[Selfishness wins out. Now ...if Stan actually believes him is another story.]

[He's got to admit, this looks a lot like the most recent pictures he's seen of Dipper. He squints, as if it will help him spot differences other than the obvious.]

Hmph. The Dipper I know's still in elementary school...

[And this Dipper's a little tall to be a sixth grader. ...Fifth grader? Whatever, he's not the one who has to defend himself here. He looks Dipper up and down, and then scoffs at him.]

Prove it.

[He doesn't say what to do, but he moves his hand like he's pushing hair out of his face (even though it's all secure under his fez).]

Middle school.

[excuse you he is not THAT baby. (He is.)]

[Anyway, its not like its hard to figure out what Stan is getting at. He brushes back his hair to reveal the Big Dipper, just as its always been smack on his forehead.]

This is right before the summer Mabel and I come to visit, right? That was …a pretty long time ago for me.

[And there it is, all the proof Stan really needed. It doesn't look like he drew it on or anything, so he's probably the real deal.]

Huh. It really is you...wait, you kids are coming to visit?

[He sounds surprised - maybe even a little touched? Next summer is a whole year away, so it isn't like anything's been planned.]

--Don't gimme that look! Cat's already out of the bag about you being you so it's not like it matters I found out a little early.

[He's never had to deal with time travel personally, but that's how it usually goes, right? Besides, it's always a possibility for if...for when he gets Ford back. It's one of those things that crosses his mind late at night when he remembers exactly how much he's screwed up his life.]

Edited 2024-05-24 05:23 (UTC)

[He is a little worried about this now, like, how much he should say. How much he needs to say. How much of this was actually supposed to happen?? Stan never mentioned any time travel in the past, but then, that didn't mean much. Stan lost a lot of memories before and it would also just be like him to keep this particular thing close to his chest.]

[Alright, then, maybe he should just proceed as naturally as possible? Right.]

Ugh, fine, I guess that's true.

[A pause, and then he points at him.]

But you can't ask me for any spoilers, got it? Who knows what that might mess up. Clearly some of this was meant to happen but we don't need the time police breaking down the Shack's door.

Fine, fine. Pretty sure I could take a few cops though.

[He rolls his eyes but he can agree to that. Or at least, he can agree to that until something comes up that he wants spoilers on. He may or may not be crossing his fingers behind his back.

That being said, it's bizarre to look at this kid now and know that he's his great-nephew. There's some gross emotion welling in his chest at seeing the kid this much older.]

You, uh. You sure got taller, huh. [Stan grins.] Like a scrawnier version of me at your age.

[Sort of. The truth is there's someone else he reminds him of, someone that he can't mention. Dipper's not the only one with secrets, after all.]

Not gonna lie, I'd kinda pay to see it.

[But they have lasers, he thinks and does not say, and he doesn't think they should test time and find out. It would still be pretty funny to see him punch one of them, though.]

[There is an ...almost shy pause as Stan looks him over. Yeah, he guesses he must look a lot different from any photos of his younger self.]

Pfft. I bet I could arm wrestle you.

Edited 2024-05-24 06:35 (UTC)

[Dipper, why would you ever say that combination of words in front of him? For a second, Stan looks like he's really, sincerely considering it as a potential revenue stream.]

Yeah? Wonder how many other people would pay...

[There's gotta be at least a few suckers who would toss cash at him to fight a cop. People love paying to watch a fight! That's like half of the pay per view model!]

Pfft. With those noodle arms? Not a chance. I'd love to see you try though!

[So like, Dipper knows its a bad idea? But he would love nothing more than to see Stan punch a cop. He can't help it, it's in his blood.]

Plenty, I'm sure. The problem is what the cop might do afterwards. [Ponder ponder.] I could probably handle that if you have a cop you'd really like to punch.

[No. No, it turns out Dipper is not above abusing his powers to facilitate Stan punching a cop.]

Sure, if you seem confident. What will you give me if I win?

[Well, that gets an eyebrow raise from Stan.]

What's that s'pposed to mean? Handle it how?

[Dipper might be older than he remembers him being, but he's still a child and he maybe shouldn't be encouraging this. ...Maybe. Depends what the answer is, really.]

And pfft. Who says I'm giving you anything? I oughta be the one asking what you'll give me when you lose!

[He waves a hand.]

That's a secret. I'll show you if it comes up, but until then it counts as a spoiler.

[He is sure Stan will hate this answer. Dipper does not care.]

I guess you're too afraid to arm wrestle someone with noodle arms! What a shame!

[WOW HE SURE HATES THAT ANSWER.]

Then why even bring it up?!

[This kid is practically baiting him! Which is why he has to trouble at all rising up to the challenge.]

I'm not scared! As soon as you, me, and a flat surface are all in the same place, you're gonna regret understimating an old man! And...

[A light bulb seems to turn on in his head.]

--and if I win, you tell me the secret thing you can do to the cops!

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Re: forrrrrrr stan.

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