ghostharasser | Open Post

[Look, he's going to be careful about this. He's a(n occult) scientist. He doesn't want to break the seal initially so if there's a way to get a little sample without doing so, he will. However, if not, he might actually hunt down a used one instead. Clearly it's not a hazmat situation if Danny just leaves them around afterwards.]

[But yeah, he can tell it's ectoplasm pretty quick. Not only has he raised the dead and talked to ghosts, he's done many exorcisms in the last several years, which is why his minor is in production to begin with.]

[So floating, turning invisible, and eating ectoplasm. It all points to a very strange ghostly existance. which is ...pretty weird! Because Danny is clearly not Full Ghost. He goes to school. He's solid! Most of the time. It all gets more and more curious.]

[So, Dipper decides to test something. He's going to play a little prank on his roomate.]

[He's going to set up a spirit containment circle in the kitchen and see if it contains him. Nothing dangerous, something that, if it works, will make him hit invisible glass like a drunk mime.]

[It's a clever idea, especially because Danny is not a morning person. Or a just woke up person, regardless of time of day. He has a habit of dragging himself through the kitchen like a zombie before he gets food and caffeine in him, and the next morning/day is no exception.

Save, of course, that as he attempts to approach the fridge he runs smack into some kind of invisible barrier. He stumbles backwards a step or two, blinks several times, and tries again. Whap. Nope. Danny feels around in front of him as he pulls back once more, hands finding solid resistance in thin air.]

...Bwuh?

[Yeah that's about as far as his brain is getting right now.]

Oh, hey man.

[Dipper looks up from whatever book he's reading and doing work out of to give Danny a ...smile. It seems pleasant but there is something deeply unhinged about it. Like he just proved the existence of big foot and the nay-sayer is in front of him and also the bigfoot.]

Don't mind that, just put down an anti-spirit barrier since it seemed like we were having a weird ghost problem earlier. Did you need to get into the kitchen?

Edited 2024-08-25 03:45 (UTC)

[Danny stares at Dipper for a moment, then squints at the kitchen floor. Oh, okay, he can see the chalk nonsense now. Are those electric candles?

Did his extreme math nerd roommate set up an occult barrier better than most actual cultists he's seen?]

Uh... yeah? Kinda? What the hell, dude?

[Actual flame candles are against Dorm policy, so you make due with what you have, man.]

Anyway, Dipper sees they're still playing this weird little game so after looking particularly smug, he shrugs and gets up, walking over to the barrier. He pulls out some chalk from his coat pocket that looks ...weirdly shiny for chalk. He rubs out one of the symbols that looks hard to make out and redraws something else.]

[It flashes blue for a moment and then Dipper gives him that smile again.]

There you go. It should let you in now probably.

[It won't. It's gonna give him a light zap.]

Where are my redbulls, Fenton. Why are the walls sweating, Fenton.

[Yeah, Danny isn't sure he trusts that at all, so when Dipper does... whatever to his little setup, he pokes a finger at the air in front of him, receiving what kind of feels like a static electricity shock. At which point he just shoots Dipper the flattest look.]

Gee, I dunno, sounds like you might have already figured out where they are. So what do you need my help for, exactly?

[Which Danny says with a smirk as he crosses his arms, because he knows Dipper isn't getting those things un-phased out of the wall on his own.]

And can we maybe do this after breakfast?

[He could, but they would lose their security deposit.]

[Dipper watches him for a very long, unnerving moment. He then takes his foot and scrapes it across a specific symbol on the outside of the barrier. The on/off switch if you will. The whole thing glows again but then crackles like it's dying.]

After breakfast, and then we're going to have a little roomate talk.

[He....also. Hasn't eaten. Cough.]

Thank you.

[They'd probably also lose that deposit if Danny had had to break the barrier himself. Overloading it is a lot messier than Dipper just knowing what marking to scratch out, after all.

Also, he's groggy and starving. Danny wastes no time digging out some cereal and getting coffee started, and this time he doesn't bother being at all discreet about retrieving one of his ecto packs and just squirting the whole thing into his own coffee mug. Yep, coffee's glowing very faintly now as he takes an extremely long drink of it.]

Whoof, that's better. So, "weird ghost problem," huh?

[He's pouring his milk into the bowl first.]

[Dipper just shotguns some black coffee and fishes out a protein bar from the cabinet. Danny is blase about it, so Dipper isn't going to be discrete about watching, either.]

Yeah.

[Why the fuck are you pouring the milk in first you absolute walnut.]

Disappearing redbulls, floating objects, a guy just disappearing while sitting on the couch. A Category 6 ghost problem if I had to guess.

[Dipper reaches into his coat and pulls out ...a business card? Anyway it says "Dipper Pines - Freelance Paranormal Consultations"]

Why do you have to eat ectoplasm.

[LOOK some cereal gets soggy if it touches the milk for one microsecond too long okay, it's not HIS fault the world is like this.

Danny gives a barking laugh at "Category 6" but then deadpans as Dipper hands him...]

Oh Ancients you have a fucking business card. Why do you have a business card. No offense man, but I didn't think "paranormal investigator" was in your wheelhouse.

[Hang on, he has to wolf this cereal down before it's been too many microseconds.]

'Cuz there's not enough ambient ecto in the atmosphere here. Did you look up where I'm from, Mr. Investigator?

I did some cursory research. I have some theories, but I'd like to hear if from you first instead of just digging around in your personal life behind your back.

[Siiips more coffee.]

I'm a statistics major because I find math relaxing and I need something that will pay the bills because studying the occult sure as hell won't.

[He shrugs!! He's a production minor because he plans on running a ghost hunting show but he keeps that to himself for right now.]

To put it pretty bluntly, I couldn't escape the paranormal even if I wanted to.

HA, tell me about it.

[The words drop out of Danny's mouth before he can even think about them, and he hurriedly follows them up.]

That wasn't literal. What if I told you my hometown's called "the most haunted place on earth" for a reason that isn't a kitschy tourist attraction, and in fact has way more to do with a portal to the Ghost Zone in my parents' basement? It's so ecto-saturated that a bunch of us who lived there got permanently contaminated, so now we get sick without enough ecto around. And Dipper, I spent allllll of high school at ground zero.

[None of this is really a lie, many of the kids from Danny's grade do in fact have some degree of liminality after all that. None quite on Danny's level, of course, but he's going to conveniently leave out the whole half-ghost thing for now, to test the waters. Danny's 100000% certain that "cursory research" would've turned up his parents and their studies, so there's no point in talking around the stupid portal. Though he has to wonder if Dipper noticed that their focus shifted abruptly from hunting ghosts to genuinely studying them at one point...]

[He was curious to see what differences there would be between what Danny told him and what he did read. He did read into it a little bit and came across Amity Park. And of course the name "Fenton" meant something in certain paranormal circles. He'd have to live under a rock in his profession to not know something about it.]

[The Ghost Zone Portal and the town wide contamination gets his attention though, and his expression turns kind of. Concerned? Affronted.]

[There's a feeling deep in the back of his mind that stirs. Amorphous darkness with tendrils reaching out to his eyes- He winces for a moment.]

Is that an active portal? I'm genuinely surprised the government hasn't tried to shut you down? Or raze the entire town to the ground over what sounds like a bio-hazardous outbreak? I mean, I guess it clearly got covered up if it's not national fucking news but-

[He's getting off topic here, he will try to reign it in.]

So, the floating and phasing my shit through the walls is a result of all that?

Sure.

[Danny shrugs casually, though he can't help but grin a little. The government tried all right, if he assumes the GiW are government funded. Surely, right? But fuck them, they never fully succeeded, and now his folks aren't selling out to anyone.

But, Dipper can get that story later if he earns it.]

I mean, Mom's hot dogs kept reanimating and trying to eat us, what do you think was gonna happen?

[“Sure” he says in a very similar way Dipper has omitted truth in the past. While he doesn’t let it show on his face, he’s keeping track of all the little tells that give Danny away. He’s not being totally forthcoming and while this story does seem in line with what he’s read, there’s clearly more to the story than he’s letting on.]

Right. Amity Park sounds like a pretty interesting place.

[Well. He made Danny confess some of his business so he may as well return the favor. He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out his pill bottle, tossing it towards Danny to catch.]

[The bottle looks like a prescription at first glance but its clearly not any official labelling and looks hand written in neat cursive. The components sound like a concoction for a spell, not medication.]

When I was twelve I was tricked into a pact with a demon. When I fall asleep and start to dream, he can remotely give me some of the worst nightmares you can imagine. The combination of the meds and staying up for three-to-five days is the only way I get any sleep.

[Funny how the that's-not-the-whole-truth "sure" is universal after a point, huh? Danny catches the bottle tossed at him easily - almost on reflex actually, despite Dipper never having witnessed him engage in any overly physical activity. He squints at the label, having to make some effort to remember how cursive works. Whoa, he's seen some of these ingredients on Frostbite's "do not touch" shelf.]

Damn, seriously? And you haven't found any way to shake the asshole?

[He hands the bottle back, looking a little sheepish.]

Guess I was being a bigger jerk than I thought. Sorry, man. I'll get your stuff back in the fridge.

[Danny's also thinking he's going to have a word or three with a contact or two next time he gets a chance to abscond to the Ghost Zone. Demons are a whole different beast than ghosts, and not something he's run into often, but someone's gotta know something, right? After all, Dipper's cool, and that honestly sounds like hell.]

[Not gonna lie, Danny’s response gives him some pause. He takes it pretty in stride and does doubt him, which, if he’s telling the truth about Amity Park does make some sense. He’s flip from messing with him to genuine concern takes him a little off guard.]

[He shrugs a little.]

We’re even, since I definitely picked the lock on your ecto-cooler and took samples from one of your used capri-suns.

[He takes the bottle back and slips it back into his pocket.]

Anyway, its not like I could just explain that I drink dangerous amounts of caffeine to keep the hatman away like I’m deadly serious and risk you call the psyche ward on me.

[He waves his hand.]

The bastard’s dead, mostly. He’s being held in some dimensional, metaphysical therapy-prison where he’s being forced to reform, but that means he still has the slightest connection to my family. He’s like a deranged IT guy looking for a shot to take control of my computer to empty my bank account.

Edited 2024-08-26 01:26 (UTC)

You know what, I'm not even surprised that a guy who ran into a demon when he was twelve can also pick locks.

[Danny takes his bowl to the sink, then reaches into the wall behind said sink and pulls out a couple of red bulls. They're encrusted with what looks like slightly glowing ice. He sets them on the counter before starting to go around retrieving drinks, trying to remember all the places he put them.]

So like, metaphysical therapy-prison for demons doesn't have a way to block that connection? Sounds like they need better funding!

[Note to self: Never tell Jazz there's a metaphysical demon therapy-prison. She'd probably want to apply to work there.]

You should see how fast I can hot wire a cop car.

[Anyway, he watches with interest as Danny starts recovering his red bulls.]

Nah, it has something to do with his whole deal making schtick. Luckily its mostly just nightmares. He hasn’t tried to possess me in years. On that note if I ever have glowing yellow eyes, beat me unconscious.

Edited 2024-08-26 04:13 (UTC)

[Danny thinks he got all the red bulls. Maybe. Probably? The ice vanishes from around them as he crams most of them back into the fridge, but he tosses Dipper one that still has a chunk of ghost ice attached to it. There, that's his apology weird thing to study.

His eyebrows sure are shooting upwards now, though.]

Ooooookay, noted! So uh, aside from knowing a bit about each other's weird supernatural shit, we're mostly just gonna try to get through college like normal guys, right? I was kinda really liking the being normal thing.

[It might be wishful thinking now, but come on, he has to ask. They can try, right?]

[Danny already knows him so well. He catches that can and looks it over with interest. ]

[He looks up just as he’s about to taste the glowing ghost ice.]

Huh?

[Oh… that makes him hesitate for a moment. Like, the feeling of at least having some of this out and open meant maybe Dipper could be a little less guarded around his perceived normie roomate. Knowing they were both weird made him kind of happy? But if Danny just wants to keep pretending he’s normal...]

[He’d be a jerk to say no, but he can’t help be a little disappointed.]

Sure, man. We can go back to the way things were. No problem.

Edited 2024-08-27 06:25 (UTC)

[Oh, Dipper's trying to be chill about it for sure, but Danny can hear that touch of disappointment in his voice. Well... if he really is that into paranormal investigation, he guesses that makes sense. Honestly though, Danny's just glad he's not immediately declaring them lifelong rivals and trying to trap him for real - he's had more than enough of that in his life already.]

Thanks, that means a lot. I'm not banning you from asking questions or anything, just kinda wanna be a normal dude in the world at large for a while, y'know? It's already been great not having to worry about constant ghost visits, heh. Or, you know, sleep two floors above the giant creepy portal in the basement.

[If Dipper had been wondering how Danny manages to sleep like a rock that is also dead, well, there's his answer.]

No, no, I get it, man. Don’t worry, its going to be so normal around here-

[There is the sound of thunderous footsteps and then a sudden grabbing of the doorknob, then a very quick rattling sound of someone expertly picking the lock. The door swings open with a bang and there is a girl with wild brown hair who looks strikingly like Dipper and wearing more colors than a woodstock festival. She is covered in glitter and tattoos. She looks st Dipper with wild glee.]

Dipper! You have to come down here, there’s a wizard throwing a room party and we’re going shots out of his wizard hat!

[well. He tried.]

Edited 2024-08-28 01:31 (UTC)

[Nah, it's fine, wizard parties are totally normal! Danny can't help but grin in response to her enthusiasm - he vaguely recognizes Dipper's sister from when they were moving in. (He kinda wants to introduce Sam to her someday, just to see how the polar opposite personalities get along.)]

Oh shit, a wizard party?? I'll skip class for that! If I'm invited too, anyway.

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