ghostharasser | Open Post

[She sees that but does not comment on it.]

I'm not gonna tell you to babysit my brother or anything, but I will say that if you're around, maybe he'll think twice about going off on his own and getting into trouble because he thinks he has to be a big hero. I know that's the reason he got in trouble today. He has this terrible habit of thinking to himself "If not me, then who?" moments before someone has to sew him back together.

[She grins now, at his question, and crosses her arms with a smug expression.]

That, is my new and improved Anti-Mabel Juice, guaranteed to put you to sleep like a baby in seconds or your money back. Luckily you can't return it because I'm giving it to you for free. Bask in my generosity, ye roomate of sir Dippin' Sauce.

I gave him some before tucking him in, so he should be out for a while. I'm gonna also go and replace all his nasty red bulls with the Actual Mabel Juice I finally perfected. With luck it won't turn his hair blue like the last batch did.

[Danny can't help but wince slightly at the "going off on his own to be a big hero" comment. Boy uh. Can't think of anyone else here with a tendency to do that! Haha nope! But... Mabel's right that if they're being hero idiots together, probably they're going to get in slightly less trouble at least.]

Iiiii don't know how much I can promise, but I'll try not to let him get too beat up again, at least.

[Mabel's theatrics definitely earn a laugh out of him as he sets the potion down on his nightstand. He's... not sure he should drink it, who knows how that will react to his weirdass biology. But, worst case, he'll foist it on Dipper, who surely needs it more anyway.]

Sweet, thanks! I dunno, I bet Dipper looks pretty good with blue hair.

That’s what I said, but he didn’t believe me. His loss!!

[But Mabel will let Danny sleep, so she will wish him good night and let her self out. As promised she can be heard taking all Dipper’s red bulls and replacing them with Mabel Juice before she leaves.]

[Dipper sleeps another day away. It’ll be early afternoon before he finally emerges, groggy and disoriented.]

[Danny... had not slept. Much. He'd tossed and turned and stared at his glow in the dark star ceiling and thought a lot about how Mabel had basically told him Dipper doesn't have friends.

About how super, incredibly, quite probably literally all the way dead he'd be without his own friends.

At least the Team Phantom group chat was used to getting frantic two am texts from him, and at least it wasn't an actual emergency this time. But in between Tucker and Sam debating who would win their bet on how long it'd take Danny to out himself to his roommate if it turned out Dipper had figured it out for a while, Danny getting scolded for finding out the guy he barely knows is a paranormal investigator as a hobby and still wanting to befriend him ("cmon guys we literally have wes in this chat!!! i think hes asleep but hes here!!"), and Jazz asking entirely too many psychoanalysis questions, they had a plan.

Danny slept a little after that.

By the time Dipper stumbles back out of his room, Danny is slumped on the couch with a bag of chips, watching old reruns of Space Journey. He looks slightly rougher around the edges than usual himself, but he wears it easily, smiling and giving Dipper a short wave.]

Hey. Feeling any better?

[Oh hey. Does Danny look a little bedraggled? Maybe classes were rough today. What day is it? Ugh he’s already missed a ton of class this week he is going to be in so much hot water later.]

Hey, man. Yeah, I think I actually got real sleep for once.

[Weird. He riffles through the fridge and pulls out one of Mabels uh. Mabel Juices.]

I miss anything?

Not really. I hope that doesn't mean you gotta get knocked out by a Curse Wizard to get real sleep, that would suck.

[Danny has, in fact, skipped his own classes today. Or emailed his professors and said his roommate was sick and he didn't want to risk spreading it, anyway. Most of them had been happy enough to give him online work instead. Look, Dipper conking out for that long had maybe worried him a little, okay?]

[Dipper cracks the Mabel Juice open, takes a sip, nearly chokes, slamming his hand on the counter like the drink punched him in the face. He coughs up glitter, winded and looks the bottle over.]

Wow, Mabel. You weren’t messing around with these, this time.

[Anyway, he will take a seat on the edge of the counch, shaking his head.]

Nah, that sleep sucked. I know because I had to hear Bill’s shitty voice screaming in my head right before I got yanked out of his nightmare.

[That might be the first time he’s names the demon.]

[Danny nearly chokes on a handful of chips.]

Sorry... Bill?? You're telling me the fucked up nightmare demon who's been tormenting you for years is named BILL?

Couldn’t make it up if I tried. Bill Cipher is his full name, but I wouldn’t be surprised if its an alias or something, given he’s from another dimension and a trillion years old.

[Welp, Danny has to wheeze laugh at that for a moment, don't mind him.]

Wow. That's the dumbest name I've ever heard, and Amity Park has the Box Ghost.

[Alias or not, it's also one more bit of info Danny's filing away to ask around the Ghost Zone about later. He's also somewhat relieved it didn't turn out to be Nocturn, honestly. His subjects are supposed to be behaving now, thank you.

(Also, note to self: never tell Dipper that his hometown tried to dub Phantom Invis-o-Bill at first.)]

[Yes, yes, laugh harder. Every time someone dunks on this shitty dorito, Dipper hopes he feels it in his shitty little theraprison cell.]

It is pretty dumb, I agree. I think it's also a really terrible pun, because he looks like the eye of providence on the back of the dollar bill, but like if the eye of providence dressed like Mr. Peanut.

[He hopes Bill can feel their ridicule with each sick burn.]

Which is to say, incredibly disarming appearance until he's growing three stories tall, sprouting teeth and other orifices all over his body, and then climbing the walls while screaming in tongues. That's a particular favorite of his.

[Danny should not have tried to stuff more chips into his mouth the moment he caught his breath, because now it's really hard not to spew them all over the floor as Dipper's description sends him back into hysterics. It takes a minute of wheezing, coughing, and swallowing before he can speak again.]

Oh Ancients, he can't even make a good pun?? Oh man... I'm not sure I could even take a giant horror version of that seriously!

[He gives another cough, managing to straighten back up a little.]

Dipper, man, you gotta find a way to get this loser deformed Mr. Peanut out of your head. A cartoon demon who can't even pun properly is NOT worth it.

[Dipper can't help it. Seeing someone laugh so much at Bill's expense manages to make him crack a smile, too. It's been a while since he could laugh about this after the years of dealing with it.]

We're working on it. When things get into the realm of inter-planetary-metaphysical reality, it gets a little tricky.

[It's a lot of research and fucking around, but he knows his uncles are also working on it, too.]

Anyway, he didn't get much of an opportunity to mess around in my head. Something actually put me to sleep, and I remember him being so mad about it. Then whatever Mabel drugged me with after she was done healing me did the rest.

Oh yeah, that was this.

[Danny pulls the bottle Mabel gave him out of his pocket, tossing it to Dipper.]

She gave me one too and like, I definitely could've used the help sleeping, but I didn't know if it'd make my ecto-contamination flip out or something. Figured I'd better not risk it.

[It's not really a lie! Danny glances back at the TV, where the episode is just wrapping up.]

Man, I wish we knew what it was that gave Bill the boot, though. Especially because he'll probably be back pissed off and ready to put you through more hell than usual.

[He shakes his bag of chips, then tilts the remaining chip shards and pile of flavoring into his mouth. It hadn't been him, had it? That's... not something that Danny can do, he thinks? At least not unintentionally. He can enter dreams and believe him, he's half a mind to jump into Dipper's just to give this asshole a taste of ecto-laser, but he wouldn't want to do that without permission. Which would require Dipper knowing first. Which ehhhh... they're not quite there yet, if it happens. Maybe he should seek out a certain dream ghost...

Outwardly, it just looks like he's thinking really hard for a moment as he stares at the empty chip bag and chews.]

[Dipper catches it with a little fumbling. He's tired, fucking sue him. He cocks an eyebrow at that excuse but decides not to question it. Honestly it worked so well, he'd like to have more of them. Mabel was really onto something with these.]

Fair enough!

[Anyway, Danny brings up a good point, and now that he's awake and thinking about it, a few ideas come to mind. He passes a glance at Danny and then frowns, rubbing his chin in thought.]

Luckily that's business as usual. He's real mad at my family for basically punching him into the afterlife to begin with. But ...I think-

[He remembers seeing Phantom- or rather, what he assumes must be Danny's alter ego that he is definitely not owning up to right now. He thinks maybe its a bad time to bring that up.]

I had kind of a weird in-between dream, like I was flying or something. I guess that's a pretty normal sounding dream so it's probably nothing, but it's the last thing I can remember before it all going black.

[Danny stiffens slightly, suddenly looking a little nervous.]

Oh... really? Yeah... yeah, you're right, it's probably nothing! Flying and falling dreams are pretty common, right? A-and I was carrying you, so maybe that's just how your brain interpreted the movement, haha!

[Is this guy for fucking real]

Yeah, that's probably it. I guess right now it'll just be a mystery. Good to know it's even possible at this point, honestly.

[He leans back against the couch a little.]

Anyway, I think I have a bigger problem then I realized when it comes to figuring out who the curse wizard is.

[Listen, this guy grew up with parents who can't read social cues if they're spelled out in flashing neon signs, and a general populace that isn't much better. Up until now, that kind of deflection has actually mostly worked.

He might also have forgotten that Dipper already caught him floating.

Regardless, Danny's still thankful for the topic change.]

Oh yeah?

[He falls quiet a moment.]

I was ambushed, by someone who knew enough about who might come snooping to prepare for it.

[He takes a sip of juice, thoughtful despite how much glitter contamination is all over him.]

I'm not an ameteur, I've been fighting monsters and punching cultists since I was twelve. This guy got the jump on me because he knew exactly who or what I was. That's concerning.

[Oh. Hmm. Danny is suddenly a little worried about the fact that he left a pissed off calling card. Oops?]

Yeesh. No kidding. Know if any enemies of yours fit the uh... bill?

[Okay he has to snicker a bit at himself as he says that. The pun wasn't entirely intentional, but it's still funny.]

[Danny gets something of a fond eyeroll for the pun. Stan would probably like your sense of humor, Danny.]

[But he does pause for a moment to think about it.]

None come to mind that have that kind of power and would be lurking on a college campus. I might have to go back through some of my previous jobs and see if there's any ...I dunno, relatives of people I've pissed off? That could be swearing vengeance on my me or my family? Hell, it could be someone mad at my uncle, too. He's made dimensions worth of enemies, come to think of it.

[Which means he's already got a headache thinking about it.]

I'll have to do some research. In the meantime, I'll set up some wards around the dorm to make sure nothing comes to cause us trouble here, just in case.

Yeah, probably a good idea.

["Dimensions worth?" Well, at least Danny's pretty sure there aren't any of note from the Ghost Zone, or he'd have heard about it. Maybe. Probably? Pines sure get around, huh. He tries to think of anything he could do as well, but comes up empty. "Ghost sense" is really the only preemptive trick he has, huh.]

Whoever it is, I hope we can get that creep to beat it. Who needs classes AND supernatural vendettas? [A beat, Danny sets the chip bag he's been holding on the coffee table and shoves his heads back in his pockets.] So uh, would this be a weird time to ask a totally unrelated question?

Definitely not me. Look, even though I like to exorcise possessed toasters in my free time doesn't mean I'm trying to have my grades tank from warlocks with personal beef.

[Like, even he is unhappy with this much supernatural meddling.]

[A pause and he gives Danny a curious look.]

Shoot, I guess.

You wanna come to that scifi con nearby with me and my friends in a couple weeks? They were planning to visit for it, and I think you'd all get along. Mabel's invited too if she wants.

[That, and on the off chance they're still embroiled in warlock personal beef by then, Danny wouldn't feel great leaving Dipper on his own for a weekend. Regardless, it's the main point of The Plan. (To get Dipper more friends.)]

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[internally] [1/2]

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oh of course I notice a typo in the last post now