[Dipper isn't going to call attention to your table scuttling, Loop, don't worry. Dipper was pretty caught up in recounting this story. That whole incident had left such a strong impression on him for some time.]
Mm, you're right. I ...know there's another version of me back home, living a life that I consciously walked away from. If I ever met him, I'm not sure what I would do, either.
[And Dipper nods to Loop's comment on the name waste. Dipper never liked that title, either. Even less so when he learned where it came from. As for what he was like, Dipper thinks for a moment how to describe him, but then decides maybe showing would be easier. He raises a hand and, with some thought, conjures a brief illusion. He's only there for a moment, but he stands some distance away, eyes darting for a moment before he hurries off, disappearing once more. The differences are pretty stark to the Dipper sitting on the couch. He's a lot older, his appearance his dirty, disheveled and his complexion is gaunt.]
If I had to describe him in one word, I think I would say ...tired, and like something was always weighing on him. [But this isn't a shock since the man died the second he could perceive safety.] If he resented us, he never let it show. I think ...I think he carried a lot of guilt, about how things went. The last thing he said to me before he died was "Don't make my mistakes."
[Dipper laughs but, in a kind of "god, what the fuck" kind of way.]
[The illusion makes them jump a little—forgot the kid could do that! It does help paint a picture, though. It's a familiar sort of exhaustion, the eyes of someone who's seen too much for too long. Their gaze lingers on the empty space after he vanishes.]
Hah. That's a pretty messed up thing to say as a first impression, isn't it? [Which is why they said it to stardust while he was zoning out and not paying attention! But they still said it, had to say it, so they can understand.] He was you, once, so I think he'd feel however you think you would feel.
If it were me... I think I'd be a little mean about it~ But it's nice, too. Knowing some version of you is doing alright, being able to talk to them... being able to see your family, even if they're not the same.
[It's better than being alone, seething in jealousy while too scared of rejection to approach.]
[Loop says that about being mean about it, and thinks about the fight they and Sif got into back at one of the older town meetings. Of course, he doesn't let on to that or anything, he just tucks it away.]
I think ...I think I would definitely be more mad at myself. If I resented anything, it would be my own mistakes. That doesn't mean I wouldn't still lash out about it or anything, but I understand why he might have felt guilty about things. He probably got it in his head he needed to do everything on his own and it backfired on him. I remember him saying that by the end he'd discarded everything but the need to survive, and that had turned into fear and distrust.
[Dipper had always tried to keep those words in the back of his mind, but even then, it didn't save him from making terrible mistakes along the same vein. He wonders sometimes about the existence of "fatal flaws" and often wonders if every Dipper is meant to have that one to some extent.]
I'd always hoped that was the case for him, too. That even though he was haunting the place, we still wanted him around. He was still family. A Pines is a Pines, you know? Anyway, we got pretty off track talking about Mason. You want to hear more of my crimes?
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Mm, you're right. I ...know there's another version of me back home, living a life that I consciously walked away from. If I ever met him, I'm not sure what I would do, either.
[And Dipper nods to Loop's comment on the name waste. Dipper never liked that title, either. Even less so when he learned where it came from. As for what he was like, Dipper thinks for a moment how to describe him, but then decides maybe showing would be easier. He raises a hand and, with some thought, conjures a brief illusion. He's only there for a moment, but he stands some distance away, eyes darting for a moment before he hurries off, disappearing once more. The differences are pretty stark to the Dipper sitting on the couch. He's a lot older, his appearance his dirty, disheveled and his complexion is gaunt.]
If I had to describe him in one word, I think I would say ...tired, and like something was always weighing on him. [But this isn't a shock since the man died the second he could perceive safety.] If he resented us, he never let it show. I think ...I think he carried a lot of guilt, about how things went. The last thing he said to me before he died was "Don't make my mistakes."
[Dipper laughs but, in a kind of "god, what the fuck" kind of way.]
That ate at me for months, let me tell you.
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Hah. That's a pretty messed up thing to say as a first impression, isn't it? [Which is why they said it to stardust while he was zoning out and not paying attention! But they still said it, had to say it, so they can understand.] He was you, once, so I think he'd feel however you think you would feel.
If it were me... I think I'd be a little mean about it~ But it's nice, too. Knowing some version of you is doing alright, being able to talk to them... being able to see your family, even if they're not the same.
[It's better than being alone, seething in jealousy while too scared of rejection to approach.]
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I think ...I think I would definitely be more mad at myself. If I resented anything, it would be my own mistakes. That doesn't mean I wouldn't still lash out about it or anything, but I understand why he might have felt guilty about things. He probably got it in his head he needed to do everything on his own and it backfired on him. I remember him saying that by the end he'd discarded everything but the need to survive, and that had turned into fear and distrust.
[Dipper had always tried to keep those words in the back of his mind, but even then, it didn't save him from making terrible mistakes along the same vein. He wonders sometimes about the existence of "fatal flaws" and often wonders if every Dipper is meant to have that one to some extent.]
I'd always hoped that was the case for him, too. That even though he was haunting the place, we still wanted him around. He was still family. A Pines is a Pines, you know? Anyway, we got pretty off track talking about Mason. You want to hear more of my crimes?