[ Sorry, Dipper, he's not responding back because he's on the move.
He's hunting down the squidboy. Sure he knows where he's at thanks to the comment. But where's the fun in just knocking?
So Dipper might hear a thud on the roof of his place, and the telltale sound of padded claws click clicking as Beat tries to find a way in. Windows boarded up, but maybe a chimney he can drop into.
... He might ruin the surprise though by passing and speaking loud enough to be heard: ]
Yo, is it the three lil' pigs who had the house the wolf blew down?
[So the thing about the house this cabin was modeled after is it probably has more than one fire place, because it's a funhouse of a log cabin whose layout and blue prints leaves Kei awake at night contemplating her life choices.]
[The sound of something handing on their roof is something Dipper can hear clearly, because his room is up in the attic more or less. He jolts out of his chair, reaching for his gun when-]
[...]
Yeah, man. You got it.
[Anyway, rather than a gun, Dipper hits the switch and converts it to it's polearm form and peers into the fireplace opening. He slides it up into the chimney stack and hits another button, causing the blades at the tip to recede.]
Hang on just a second, I'm going to pop off the boarding on the chimney so you can come down. Stand back by like, five feet.
[That's the only warning Beat gets before a chunk of wood is blasted out of the chimney by a point blank shotgun blast.]
[Maybe. Maybe he should not have done that. Dipper runs down the stairs pretty quick to try and make sure he's okay only for Beat to knock on the door right as he gets there. He takes a second or two to undo all the paranoia locks and force open the door.]
Oh my god, I'm sorry, are you okay? The roof's slope is really steep, I should have accounted for that-
[ Beat's standing there trying to look cool. Like he didn't just slide off a roof, whammy himself on the V of the second roof, and land on his ass. He's currently smoothing some fur down, catching his breath.
He's a Cool Big Brother, totally not injured or anything at all. ]
Oh, pft, bro, nah it's aight. It ain't the first time it's happened.
[ Then he lunges and grabs Dipper up to throw him over his shoulder. And then very gently mock suplexes him into the ground, careful not to actually hurt him after all. ]
[Dipper is looking for Visible Injuries and seems to sigh in relief when it looks like he didn't break anything. Beat's a werewolf, and if it's something he reluctantly learned from being forced to listen to Grenda reading Werewolf erotica to him while he was trapped in his sister's body, is that they are sturdy creatures.]
[He doesn't question Beat being a serial roof tumbler, either, because Paul Bunyan knows he's had Roof Incidents himself. It's not that weird.]
[-AND THEN HE'S GETTING GRABBED.]
WHOA!
[He is so easy to sling like a sack of potatoes, its really sad, but also it makes it really easy to mock!suplex him like Beat wants. Which means, Dipper knows its Silly Time.]
No fair trying to get the jump on me, man!
[He is going to wiggle around until he can get out of his grasp and leap onto his back in a mock!chokehold]
[ Please never talk to Beat about werewolf erotica. His husband would write it. Yeah.
He cackles to the no fair, tail wagging as he lets Dipper wiggle and go for the chokehold, his hands going to his arm in play OH NO. ]
I'm a PREDATOR, BRO. S'what we DO!
[ Mock choking, he opens his mouth and oh so very gently turns his head to 'gnaw' at Dippers arm. His teeth don't even snag clothing, but he does drool a lot on him. Enjoy those utterly terrifying growls.
Also sneezes. Just to make sure Dipper knows it's all in play. Then stands and drags Dipper with him. ]
The fuck was wid the wood in the chimney? Parta the defense?
[Mabel would love Josh and that knowledge in itself is horrifying.]
Your apex instincts are no match for squid tactics! Pines! Pines! Pines!
[And having conquered his terrifying adversary, Dipper is happy to just be Beat's teen cape and hold onto his shoulders while he walks around.]
Yep! Gotta board up all the entry points so nothing can get in! Nothing is scarier then having frost zombies try and force their way in through the chimneys because you got complacent. Or maybe some cloud of man eating demon wasps! Or blood rain!
[ It reminds him of his sister. Adopted. Hilariously enough, his nickname for her was Squiddles. It makes him smile a little. He just manages to find the squids and family them. ]
Huh... ye, feel that! We ain't had frost zombies but we had like... you ever seen that movie where they all infected with anger? Ye we had those fuckers. Got so used to shit yer house became yer fortress. An' fuckin' yeah I am, bro! Always!
[ He will cape Dipper off into the direction of the kitchen, grinning as he looks around. And looks around... ]
[Surprise Beat, the whole house probably smells faintly of squid now that Dipper's uncles are here and also Squid-like.]
Oh, man, I think I know what you're talking about. I don't think we had those guys but we've probably had something similar. Crazy stuff like that was always happening to us. Our house had lots of giant monster bones built into it after a while to reinforce it so it probably looked like a fortress.
[He's already thinking about some stuff he can cook up. He knows Beat doesn't care for sweets but you can make a pie with meat!!]
Huh? Oh! I mean, sure, but the house is old and we haven't had much time to do a lot to it yet. There's carpet in some places! But it's a log cabin, dude. It's supposed to look like wood.
[ There is a a squad of squid here. A squaid if you will. Beat wants to sniff around into every nook-and-cranny but he heads for the kitchen first, like a good boy, tail wagging. Nodding away to the crazy stuff. ]
Every damn month, yo. Don't seem to be any different here, either. It's weird.
[ But he shrugs and then swings Dipper over his shoulder to 'slam' him down onto the kitchen floor, grinning upside down at him. Which probably looks silly from Dippers perspective with the dog face.
And snorts. ]
Well, if there's one thing I got good at is home repair, yo. Paintin', recarpetin', shit like that. Weird crap was always happenin' to our house. Or, ya know. Explodin' all inside it.
[ Do you have a fridge, Dipper? If so, Beat's going to open it and stick his nose in. Big snuffles. ]
You know, I once coined a term for these kinds of places. Back in Trench I got into a whole discussion with people over the whole idea of there being dimensional pockets that draw people in and have weird monthly rotations of things happening. Multiversal Nexus Points. Weird how there's more than one, right? There's probably thousands.
[Weeee there he goes. Dipper lets Beat rag doll him about like its perfectly normal. Once Beat moves onto the fridge, Dipper gets up to start rummaging through cabinets. Beat will find a number of things, but most importantly: a left over breakfast casserole.]
You know, with how crazy stuff gets, that's a really handy skillset. I'm sure I'll have to hit you up at some point. If it's not the forest, I imagine one of my uncles will blow a hole in the wall somewhere at some point, it's inevitable.
Huh.... Multiversion Nexus Points is pretty spot on, yo. [ Close! ] I know about Alternate Worlds, so it kinda fits in wid that, right? If you got one "Horror Dimension" where yer a Gods puppet play thing, ain't it make sense fer there to be alternates of that. 'Stead of blood in one word an' you turn into Squids, itsa city covered in fog thats separate from the resta the world, and you turn into everythin'. Kinda weird how these places like to turn us into shit.
[ He holds the breakfast casserole over his head like treasure he found in an ancient sleeping kingdom, nose working as he sniffs upwards at it. Hmmmmm. That'll go on the counter. What else, lesse.... you let the dog into your fridge, Dipper, this is a bad idea. ]
Oh, dude, yeah. Holes in walls. Arcade machine through the ceilin'. Plants through the pipin'. After a year you kinda gotta pick that shit up or yer gonna be movin' house every month. An' bro. Like you gotta ask, yo! Even 'fore I was a big dog, it was meat. Burgers an' hot dogs. Triple stack burger with cheese an' bacon, a hot side of fries, an' a large soda. Or loaded up chili dogs, one for each hand, best fer when yer boardin'.
[ "Hungriest boy alive" sigh from behind the fridge door, and he pops his head up, ears perked. ]
An' CURRY, yo. An' meat bowls. An' some fried octopus. An' Chicken Bernani! [ Chicken Biryani... ] ... An' jus' meat in general, I guess? An' spicy.
Right? It's super weird, but it definitely is a pattern. I need to go back through my notes about some of the other dimensions I've documented and see if all of that holds up.
[Meanwhile, Dipper is dragging out a great big pie dish and some flour. Biiig meat pie time.]
[Anyway, there's definitely some other left overs. A bowl of scrambled eggs and sausage. A few slabs of bacon, some left over pastries and cookies from the Magic Lamp. A cold brew experiment. Some kind of ...science experiment? It's labeled "Reactive: Don't Touch" don't worry about it.]
Hmm, I bet I could make like some kind of cheeseburger pie. That sounds fun. One day I'd like to try and make curry, since I remember someone else telling me it was a big comfort food. I wonder if I can find a recipe around here somewhere.
[ Don't touch makes him want to touch. It's the red button situation all over again. He never grew out of it. He manages to ignore that and pull out everything else - minus the pastries and cookies. They can stay in there.
But eggs and sausage and bacon? Slapped down onto the counter, tail wagging wildly. ]
Oh, yo, if you want a recipe for curry I know you can ask Josh fer it. My boys a... cy... [ sounding it out ] cycloptic... pedi...a? about this shit. [ and still gets it wrong. ] But there's way diff ways to make it too. An' if you want notes 'bout Ryslig, I 'member tons 'bout it. As much as I don't wanna.
[ Some of those scrambled eggs and sausage is going to his mouth already. ]
Oh man, really? To both? I'll definitely have to shake Josh down. Did he ....tell you that he's kind of teaching me stuff? He's like my telepathy mentor now.
[Maybe he will send Josh an imprint that just says Curry Resippy and see what happens.]
I'd love notes about Ryslig if it's something you don't mind talking about, but uh, it's really okay if you don't, just so you know. I know horror places suck, obviously. I'd hate to make you dredge up something terrible.
[Good, Beat's distracted with the leftovers, which means now Dipper can start digging through the fridge for what he needs. Butter, eggs, that slab of ground beef, some cheese, he pauses on the onions.]
Hey, is there stuff you can't eat because you're a dog?
Ye, yo! Said you had a lot of potential, an' yo, that's fuckin' high praise fer him, too. Meant he was super impressed.
[ Tail wags away as he thinks of Josh, hehe, Josh. ]
Some stuff I might skip over but that's shit ya jus' don't need to know.
[ Like how Beat is really bad with things in his brain and fell hard into a Gods influence and did A Thing that was horrible for A Lot Of People... He distracts himself further with another handful of egg and bacon... while he begins to wander, sniffing around. ]
Oh shit, yeah, uh. It won't kill me 'cuz I know how to combat it but avocados an' alcohol give me the both end blasts. [ Beat. ] Grapes an' raisins cuz uh.... somethin' 'bout my kidneys? I dunno, I don't think it's making me pee more or nothin'. Onions an' garlic do the one two on my red blood cells, I remember that one! [ HAPPY WAG, HE REMEMBERS. Oh what's in the trash? Sticking his nose in the trash. ]
--Oh! Well! That's uh, that's pretty cool to know. Not that I thought Josh would just waste his time for no reason or anything. Haha- um.
[Does not grab the onion or the garlic, that's fine they can work without it. He's gonna just throw that slab of meat on the stove in a pan. The bacon will go next to it. The kitchen should start to smell really good soon?]
[In the trashcan Beat will find a bunch of ash, some table scraps, and ...a porcupinecone!! It squeaks! It's been stuck in here for a solid 20 minutes help-]
Yeah, that's cool. I get it! We can keep it about the details of the setting and less about the personal experiences, you know.
[Yeeaaah, he's been possessed and also corrupted and also done things that have caused large scale destruction.]
Okay so we'll do meat, bacon, cheese, and a pie crust. Maybe some pickles to make it a real cheese burger?
Sorry, Dipper, what were you saying? Cause the moment Beat finds the little guy he's snagging him out - with his mouth - and lifting his head. Sending the trash can lid flying and almost tipping the contents out to the floor.
His face is covered in ash, and his mouth is gently clutched around the tiny porcupinecone. His tail has begun wagging at mach ten. ]
AH FOUNG A GAHE!!
[ "I found a guy!" Without even waiting, Beat happily trots over to Dipper like a dog that has fetched something, and spits the poor little thing into Dippers hands.
[ What? He got him??? For you??? And you're going to??? Let it go???? Beat's head tilts at a near perfect 40 degree angle that all dogs do when They Do Not Comprehend and his tongue sticks out a bit. The blep is perfect. ]
If you don't want it dude I'll take i- oh yeah sure.
[ Meat distracts him, and his tail wags as he moves over to watch said cooking meat with the expression of a dog who is.... begging.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
so as to not clog up fbs post
He's hunting down the squidboy. Sure he knows where he's at thanks to the comment. But where's the fun in just knocking?
So Dipper might hear a thud on the roof of his place, and the telltale sound of padded claws click clicking as Beat tries to find a way in. Windows boarded up, but maybe a chimney he can drop into.
... He might ruin the surprise though by passing and speaking loud enough to be heard: ]
Yo, is it the three lil' pigs who had the house the wolf blew down?
the doggo has landed
[The sound of something handing on their roof is something Dipper can hear clearly, because his room is up in the attic more or less. He jolts out of his chair, reaching for his gun when-]
[...]
Yeah, man. You got it.
[Anyway, rather than a gun, Dipper hits the switch and converts it to it's polearm form and peers into the fireplace opening. He slides it up into the chimney stack and hits another button, causing the blades at the tip to recede.]
Hang on just a second, I'm going to pop off the boarding on the chimney so you can come down. Stand back by like, five feet.
[That's the only warning Beat gets before a chunk of wood is blasted out of the chimney by a point blank shotgun blast.]
doggo gonna land harder
[ He doesn't know and he'll shuffle around to avoid the chimney when told. Only... to be shocked by that and jerk back. There's no expecting THAT.
There's the sound of sliding, scrambling - ]
SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK!
[ - And then a thud somewhere on the ground in the distance. Followed, faintly, by: ]
I'M AIGHT.
[ There is a gentle knock on the door...... He'll help Dipper replace that wood later... ]
ten point landing-
[Oops.]
[Maybe. Maybe he should not have done that. Dipper runs down the stairs pretty quick to try and make sure he's okay only for Beat to knock on the door right as he gets there. He takes a second or two to undo all the paranoia locks and force open the door.]
Oh my god, I'm sorry, are you okay? The roof's slope is really steep, I should have accounted for that-
no subject
He's a Cool Big Brother, totally not injured or anything at all. ]
Oh, pft, bro, nah it's aight. It ain't the first time it's happened.
[ Then he lunges and grabs Dipper up to throw him over his shoulder. And then very gently mock suplexes him into the ground, careful not to actually hurt him after all. ]
no subject
[He doesn't question Beat being a serial roof tumbler, either, because Paul Bunyan knows he's had Roof Incidents himself. It's not that weird.]
[-AND THEN HE'S GETTING GRABBED.]
WHOA!
[He is so easy to sling like a sack of potatoes, its really sad, but also it makes it really easy to mock!suplex him like Beat wants. Which means, Dipper knows its Silly Time.]
No fair trying to get the jump on me, man!
[He is going to wiggle around until he can get out of his grasp and leap onto his back in a mock!chokehold]
no subject
He cackles to the no fair, tail wagging as he lets Dipper wiggle and go for the chokehold, his hands going to his arm in play OH NO. ]
I'm a PREDATOR, BRO. S'what we DO!
[ Mock choking, he opens his mouth and oh so very gently turns his head to 'gnaw' at Dippers arm. His teeth don't even snag clothing, but he does drool a lot on him. Enjoy those utterly terrifying growls.
Also sneezes. Just to make sure Dipper knows it's all in play. Then stands and drags Dipper with him. ]
The fuck was wid the wood in the chimney? Parta the defense?
no subject
Your apex instincts are no match for squid tactics! Pines! Pines! Pines!
[And having conquered his terrifying adversary, Dipper is happy to just be Beat's teen cape and hold onto his shoulders while he walks around.]
Yep! Gotta board up all the entry points so nothing can get in! Nothing is scarier then having frost zombies try and force their way in through the chimneys because you got complacent. Or maybe some cloud of man eating demon wasps! Or blood rain!
[Dipper points Beat towards the kitchen.]
You hungry?
no subject
Huh... ye, feel that! We ain't had frost zombies but we had like... you ever seen that movie where they all infected with anger? Ye we had those fuckers. Got so used to shit yer house became yer fortress. An' fuckin' yeah I am, bro! Always!
[ He will cape Dipper off into the direction of the kitchen, grinning as he looks around. And looks around... ]
Uh... dude. Y'all ever hear of paint? Carpet?
no subject
Oh, man, I think I know what you're talking about. I don't think we had those guys but we've probably had something similar. Crazy stuff like that was always happening to us. Our house had lots of giant monster bones built into it after a while to reinforce it so it probably looked like a fortress.
[He's already thinking about some stuff he can cook up. He knows Beat doesn't care for sweets but you can make a pie with meat!!]
Huh? Oh! I mean, sure, but the house is old and we haven't had much time to do a lot to it yet. There's carpet in some places! But it's a log cabin, dude. It's supposed to look like wood.
ten years later
Every damn month, yo. Don't seem to be any different here, either. It's weird.
[ But he shrugs and then swings Dipper over his shoulder to 'slam' him down onto the kitchen floor, grinning upside down at him. Which probably looks silly from Dippers perspective with the dog face.
And snorts. ]
Well, if there's one thing I got good at is home repair, yo. Paintin', recarpetin', shit like that. Weird crap was always happenin' to our house. Or, ya know. Explodin' all inside it.
[ Do you have a fridge, Dipper? If so, Beat's going to open it and stick his nose in. Big snuffles. ]
welcome back!!!
[Weeee there he goes. Dipper lets Beat rag doll him about like its perfectly normal. Once Beat moves onto the fridge, Dipper gets up to start rummaging through cabinets. Beat will find a number of things, but most importantly: a left over breakfast casserole.]
You know, with how crazy stuff gets, that's a really handy skillset. I'm sure I'll have to hit you up at some point. If it's not the forest, I imagine one of my uncles will blow a hole in the wall somewhere at some point, it's inevitable.
What's your favorite food, dude?
no subject
[ He holds the breakfast casserole over his head like treasure he found in an ancient sleeping kingdom, nose working as he sniffs upwards at it. Hmmmmm. That'll go on the counter. What else, lesse.... you let the dog into your fridge, Dipper, this is a bad idea. ]
Oh, dude, yeah. Holes in walls. Arcade machine through the ceilin'. Plants through the pipin'. After a year you kinda gotta pick that shit up or yer gonna be movin' house every month. An' bro. Like you gotta ask, yo! Even 'fore I was a big dog, it was meat. Burgers an' hot dogs. Triple stack burger with cheese an' bacon, a hot side of fries, an' a large soda. Or loaded up chili dogs, one for each hand, best fer when yer boardin'.
[ "Hungriest boy alive" sigh from behind the fridge door, and he pops his head up, ears perked. ]
An' CURRY, yo. An' meat bowls. An' some fried octopus. An' Chicken Bernani! [ Chicken Biryani... ] ... An' jus' meat in general, I guess? An' spicy.
[ Tail wagging away.... ]
no subject
[Meanwhile, Dipper is dragging out a great big pie dish and some flour. Biiig meat pie time.]
[Anyway, there's definitely some other left overs. A bowl of scrambled eggs and sausage. A few slabs of bacon, some left over pastries and cookies from the Magic Lamp. A cold brew experiment. Some kind of ...science experiment? It's labeled "Reactive: Don't Touch" don't worry about it.]
Hmm, I bet I could make like some kind of cheeseburger pie. That sounds fun. One day I'd like to try and make curry, since I remember someone else telling me it was a big comfort food. I wonder if I can find a recipe around here somewhere.
no subject
But eggs and sausage and bacon? Slapped down onto the counter, tail wagging wildly. ]
Oh, yo, if you want a recipe for curry I know you can ask Josh fer it. My boys a... cy... [ sounding it out ] cycloptic... pedi...a? about this shit. [ and still gets it wrong. ] But there's way diff ways to make it too. An' if you want notes 'bout Ryslig, I 'member tons 'bout it. As much as I don't wanna.
[ Some of those scrambled eggs and sausage is going to his mouth already. ]
no subject
[Maybe he will send Josh an imprint that just says Curry Resippy and see what happens.]
I'd love notes about Ryslig if it's something you don't mind talking about, but uh, it's really okay if you don't, just so you know. I know horror places suck, obviously. I'd hate to make you dredge up something terrible.
[Good, Beat's distracted with the leftovers, which means now Dipper can start digging through the fridge for what he needs. Butter, eggs, that slab of ground beef, some cheese, he pauses on the onions.]
Hey, is there stuff you can't eat because you're a dog?
no subject
[ Tail wags away as he thinks of Josh, hehe, Josh. ]
Some stuff I might skip over but that's shit ya jus' don't need to know.
[ Like how Beat is really bad with things in his brain and fell hard into a Gods influence and did A Thing that was horrible for A Lot Of People... He distracts himself further with another handful of egg and bacon... while he begins to wander, sniffing around. ]
Oh shit, yeah, uh. It won't kill me 'cuz I know how to combat it but avocados an' alcohol give me the both end blasts. [ Beat. ] Grapes an' raisins cuz uh.... somethin' 'bout my kidneys? I dunno, I don't think it's making me pee more or nothin'. Onions an' garlic do the one two on my red blood cells, I remember that one! [ HAPPY WAG, HE REMEMBERS. Oh what's in the trash? Sticking his nose in the trash. ]
1/2
[He feels blindsided in the same way he did when Timekeeper asked him about working for the TBD. It doesn't sound it it should be him.]
no subject
[Does not grab the onion or the garlic, that's fine they can work without it. He's gonna just throw that slab of meat on the stove in a pan. The bacon will go next to it. The kitchen should start to smell really good soon?]
[In the trashcan Beat will find a bunch of ash, some table scraps, and ...a porcupinecone!! It squeaks! It's been stuck in here for a solid 20 minutes help-]
Yeah, that's cool. I get it! We can keep it about the details of the setting and less about the personal experiences, you know.
[Yeeaaah, he's been possessed and also corrupted and also done things that have caused large scale destruction.]
Okay so we'll do meat, bacon, cheese, and a pie crust. Maybe some pickles to make it a real cheese burger?
no subject
Sorry, Dipper, what were you saying? Cause the moment Beat finds the little guy he's snagging him out - with his mouth - and lifting his head. Sending the trash can lid flying and almost tipping the contents out to the floor.
His face is covered in ash, and his mouth is gently clutched around the tiny porcupinecone. His tail has begun wagging at mach ten. ]
AH FOUNG A GAHE!!
[ "I found a guy!" Without even waiting, Beat happily trots over to Dipper like a dog that has fetched something, and spits the poor little thing into Dippers hands.
What was- oh yeah. ]
Fuck yes, yo! Pickles is great!
no subject
Who?! [A gay? In the Pines house?? What a fucking shocking development*]
[Oh god, what is Beat putting in his hands. Oh god it's ...very wet and drooly. Aaaaaaaaaaaaa.]
Oh- a guy.
[This... This poor porcupinecone....]
I'll uh. I'll go put him with the rest of his family. Make sure the meat doesn't burn, okay?
no subject
[ What? He got him??? For you??? And you're going to??? Let it go???? Beat's head tilts at a near perfect 40 degree angle that all dogs do when They Do Not Comprehend and his tongue sticks out a bit. The blep is perfect. ]
If you don't want it dude I'll take i- oh yeah sure.
[ Meat distracts him, and his tail wags as he moves over to watch said cooking meat with the expression of a dog who is.... begging.
Begging at the pan.
Give him?? Pan?? Share?? ]