ghostharasser | Open Post

Hey, it's been a shitty couple of weeks. There are all kinds of reasons: rampant corruption just tearing through the family, Ford being kidnapped by the zealots, Mabel's brush with beasthood, and then of course the exorcism.

Dipper was alive and recovering, but that doesn't mean he's been in the best shape. His corruption had been something of a slow burn that had been harder to notice until he'd made some terrible mistakes and ran full tilt into total self destruction. It was terrifying, looking back on it. Reading the entries in his own journal as he got more and more insane.

And now he had consequences, deep ones that were keeping him up at night much later than his usual nocturnal nature as a paleblood. Out of pure frustration and spite, Dipper dragged himself out of bed and into the kitchen. While he'd had some luck walking around a little upstairs, it was still pretty dicey for him to go too far, but the thought of just staying in bed, staring at the ceiling, for another night, was enough to make him try.

He figures, maybe he'll just sit down at the table for a while, write in his journal, and he'll feel tired enough to sleep and shuffle over to the couch. Should be fine. No one is up, probably.

Probably.

As Dipper clears the stairs with surprising success, he realizes with horror that the kitchen light was on. Shit, and he knew if he went back up stairs it would take him another fifteen minutes. Ugh, now what.]

[As a family full of insomniacs to varying degrees, nocturnal natures don't change very much. Dipper might have had better luck at the crack of dawn. Stan doesn't even have the paleblood excuse - he's just used to having to be awake at night for reasons, but now those reasons are less "I need to save my brother from the interdimensional portal I pushed him in" and more "I need to make a sandwich and see if I can use my bare hands to toast it."

He has a sandwich pressed between his hands, one flat on top and one on the bottom, with a his blue flames giving a low-ish heat. It shouldn't need too long.

Unfortunately he's not expecting company, so having a sudden guest in his peripheral vision makes his flame flare up suddenly and then immediately die out - a fun new supernatural startle response that even seems to catch Stan off guard.]

Kid, what are you doing up? You're supposed to be--

[Resting, but that requires touching the reason why Dipper should be resting, and he doesn't really want to get into all of that. The two of them have been so awkward around each other since their fight, but Stan's still been fussing here and there - including how he pivots after an awkward beat.]

Uh. Anyway. Want a sandwich?

[He holds out the one in his hand, only to realize he charred it to a crispy brick. Oops.]

...............I can make a new one.

[What a lovely elephant in the room they've made for themselves. It does suck that ...things are awkward like this between them now. Dipper knows it's almost entirely his fault and he doesn't know how to fix it. If he can fix it.]

[He forces himself to respond so he doesn't start to spiral-]

Uh. Sssure.

[Not gonna lie, even though he kind of jumped when the flames grew, he was kind of curious to see how well he could heat a sandwich. Fire science was a good way to distract oneself from insomnia, absolutely.]

[He will ...carefully make his way to the table to sit down. Stan will note that he is still not completely steady on his feet, and each step is made with far more concentration than it should be.]

[Stan lets him have the dignity of walking to the table on his own, but he's notably paying attention, as if he's half expecting his legs to just give out. He can't help a relieved sigh when Dipper makes it, and turns his attention to the sandwich again.]

Y'know, it's gonna take you twice as long to get better if you keep walking around.

[There's no bite to it. Everyone in the house is like this when they're sick or hurt, so it's on everyone else in the house to call them on it when it happens. Dipper's done the same to him when he was recovering from death.]

You want the brown mystery meat or that mushroom that everyone keeps saying tastes like chicken?

[The mystery meat is canned, but it's mystery meat because no one in the house can agree what animal it's supposed to be from aside from "not seafood", and the mushroom is supposed to be some kind of dupe for chicken but Stan whines about it on principal.]

[Dipper decides to answer the more horrifying question than acknowledge the first part.]

...Brown mystery meat. I feel like it being wedged in a sandwich will only be an improvement.

[The chicken mushroom is frankly weird, even for him. Mabel fucking loves it, though. She's been trying to get him to try making chicken nuggets with it. He'll cave eventually.]

...Sorry, I just. Wanted out of bed for a little while. Staring at the same ceiling for too long is starting to make me feel nuts.

[It's a joke because he was already nuts before. Haha. Please laugh.]

You got it.

[The sandwich itself isn't actually that horrifying, surprisingly enough. It's really just that he refuses to just call it a meat sandwich, because he kind of enjoys grossing out the rest of the family a little. He's been eating meat out of a can since before they were Sleepers; he's already used to it. It's just a loose meat sandwich with onion and a little cheese (a treat, since dairy's pricey). It's also the kind of sandwich that's great toasted.

So, he puts this one between his hands and leans against the counter and lets Dipper say whatever he wants to say. The fire's under control again, blue flames barely grazing his palms and fluttering between his fingers.]

Nah, I get it. Gets boring after a while anyway, even if you're not stuck in your own head.

[Stan has definitely been there too. Staring at the ceiling of his brother's house, laying awake and ignoring wounds. Oof.

The sandwich doesn't take long at all, and more surprisingly doesn't burn to a crisp this time. Stan unceremoniously drops it on a plate and slides it in front of Dipper. It has toasty grill marks, but they're handprint-shaped from Stan holding it with his bare hands.]

[Dipper does watch with pretty rapt attention. It's actually pretty cool? That he can control it well enough to get an even cook on the thing. When he finishes and slides it over to him, Dipper inspects it for a few moments.]

[He goes to pick it up, but he pauses, feeling how hot it still is, and decides to wait a moment. He only sort of hides the fact that his hands caused him some discomfort while he tested it out just now.]

Have you been practicing a lot?

[They haven't ...talked a lot about their powers. Dipper's were kind of a loaded subject for a number of reasons. He's seen Ford experiment with his, but Stan seems to be genuinely having the most fun with his.]

It looked like it came pretty easy to you just now.

[All of their powers have been loaded subjects in varying degrees. Stan nearly gave Ford a panic attack when his flames appeared for the first time, after all. None of them can easily forget Bill's blue flames.

...Well, except for Stan, but he'll keep that thought to himself. He's the only one who'll think it's funny.

The question surprises Stan a little (but thankfully not so much that his flames act up again, since he's toasting his own sandwich now), but he gives it a little thought.]

Huh. I guess you can call it that? I just keep trying stuff, figuring out what works and what doesn't. At first I lit a lot of stuff on fire-- [Dipper's been here. He probably remembers that.] --but, I dunno. I just got used to how it feels? And it's a heck of a lot easier than the spells and the rituals and stuff.

[Speaking of how it feels, his sandwich is done toasting and because he can't burn himself anymore he takes a bite of it on his way to grabbing a plate. He settles across from Dipper at the table though.]

[This is funny to Dipper because he personally feels way more at easy when he has a spell or ritual to do. The process to him, is comforting and easy. If Dipper can understand how the process works, what makes things come together, then his understanding of it makes more sense. Even when doing black magic, Dipper has to treat it like a math problem.]

[That's probably a lot of why he's struggling so much with his powers. He keeps trying to treat it like a math problem he can solve. That is clearly not the case, here.]

It's interesting ...because I guess it's not exactly magic in the same way we know it back home? Magic usually has a method, like spells and stuff, but this is just. I dunno. A part of us? It's a lot different.

[The most he had ever drawn on his powers, had been during the ritual, where he straight up tried to emulate bill in order to trigger them.]

[It had worked.]

Hey, um. Can I ask you something?

[Stan nods along through a bite of sandwich. Makes enough sense to him.]

Yeah, something like that. You don't really have to think about a method that hard after a while - it's like learning to walk, or learning to use a new pair of fireproof hands!

[He grins and holds up a hand to wiggle his fingers, making a flam dance across them. Stan is nothing if not a showman.

The question is more sincere though, so he puts his fire away where it belongs and listens. Besides, it's not like Dipper asks to ask him a question that often - usually he's got twelve of them up his sleeve at any given moment!]

Yeah, sure. Shoot.

[Dipper will slowly try again to pick up the sandwich. He is weirdly delicate with it, but he does manage to take a bite while Stan talks.]

...Kind of like instinct, or something. Intuition, maybe?

[He does crack a small smile to Stan's display of pyrotechnics, before he also sits up a little. Stan is taking his question serious so he can't back out of asking.]

Does it ...worry you? That we can do stuff like this?

[Dipper feels like he's done nothing but worrying about it. To the point that it keeps him up. Maybe asking someone outside his own brain will actually help.]

A little more than that, but yeah. Pretty much.

[Stan raises an eyebrow and tilts his head a bit, genuinely not sure what Dipper's getting at.]

What? Why? Everyone else who washed up here can.

[And it's not like he's so worried about it that he won't do things like turn himself into a human panini press.]

[That's a pretty straight forward way to put it. It's so blunt, actually that Dipper opens his mouth, and then closes it again, a little at a loss for how to explain. He hesitates.]

Well, yeah, but they all manifest differently for everyone, right? And- that's also kind of something to be worried about, like, yeah, all of us that washed up here got these weird powers, and these weird bodies, and that still somehow seperates us from the rest of the people here. The implications-

[He's getting a little worked up, like the anxiety just decides to explode out of him. He doesn't sound upset, but he sounds anxious as hell.]

You can't deny how tailored ours are- like. I-I dunno, I just.

[Come on Dipper, spit it out.]

I had ...kind of a scary moment during the exorcism mess that I keep thinking about.

[Stan is equally at a loss of how to react to all of whatever this is, but he lets Dipper get it out of his system at least. He knows from experience with Ford that sometimes people like them just have to get all the anxious rambling out first before the get to the point.

And Dipper does get there. Powers tailored to them, a scary thing during the exorcism...]

Scary than the exorcism itself?

[It's not really funny, not when Ford and Dipper have both dealt with more exorcisms than they can count, even including Ford's extra digits. And especially not given the aftermath of it all.]

I'm just messing with you. You, uh. ...Wanna tell me what happened?

[He's here and listening, even if he tries to cut tension now and then.]

Edited 2024-07-26 01:34 (UTC)

[It's a fair point to bring up, and yeah, it kind of was. If he's still thinking about it in the wake of everything else.]

[But Stan offers to listen, anyway, and doesn't poke too much fun at him, which is good and relieving and he feels some tension drain out of him. While his thoughts fling back and forth between feeling guilty that Stan is still being so accommodating to him when he'd acted like such a shitty little kid before, how Stan must be worried if his mocking has been toned down, how Stan hasn't really mocked him like that in a really long time anyway. He has to shut it all down or it's probably his powers will bleed it out of him instead.]

[He takes a deep breath.]

Yeah. So ...I won't get into the specifics of how the magic works, how I set it up, because honestly, I was crazy while coming up with it. A key part of making it work was using my powers and I did it in the same way that Bill used them on me once. It didn't work...but, what I did was crazy enough for me to realize that emulating him was the closest I got to really controlling them.

[Oh. That's what he means by tailored. The dots connect pretty quick after that.]

Look...I know it's a sore spot, but he's gone. Even if you do something kinda like how he did it, it's not him. And it's never gonna be.

[Maybe he's off the mark, but after Deerington that's naturally the first place his mind goes - reassurances that Bill isn't here and he's not pulling any strings.

But, on the other hand...he rubs the back of his neck, awkwardly.]

...Did Ford ever tell you what happened when we figured out my powers, when we first got here?

[It's not completely on the mark, but he does appreciate the reassurances. Especially because Stan probably knows that Dipper is always ...quietly worried about this fact.]

...I know. That isn't ...completely what's bothering me.

[He perks up a little, giving Stan a curious look. A thoughtful pause while he tries to remember if Ford has mentioned this. After a moment he shakes his head.]

No, I don't think so, why?

[Ford probably won't love that he's sharing this, but it's a little too late now.]

Way back when we first got here and he was taking samples of all our blood...I was down in the lab with him and we got little ice cubes of mine eventually, but then we got talking and I moved my hands the wrong way and...well.

[He assumes Dipper won't have the same reaction since he's already seen him toast sandwiches tonight, so he demonstrates. He shrugs his shoulders the way he did that day, and the swish of his hands into that pose sets them on fire. He doesn't let it last long though, and shakes his hands to put the bright blue flames out. His flames are always that electric blue.]

Anyway, neither of us saw it coming and Ford actually panicked since I looked like, y'know. Bill. I got him to calm down and we spent a while testing it but... [He lets out a pressurized sigh.] ...You're not the only one who's noticed their powers are kinda Bill-ish.

[A pause though, as Dipper's answer fully hits.]

Wait, if that's not it then what's eating you?

Edited 2024-07-26 04:35 (UTC)

[It's okay he can keep a secret. Anyway, he kind of gets why Ford would flip the fuck out. After Bill was basically killed in Stan's mind, it's probably been a worry for all of them that ...something could yet linger. Ford's entire mental break back in October had hinged on this fear.]

[Dipper, to his credit, doesn't jump when Stan flicks on the flames, mostly because he did have warning and he has gotten used to them by now. He watches them for a moment before frowning in thought. It really did seem like with the exception of Mabel, they all got a weird slice of the Cipher pie.]

Whether he's here or not won't matter all that much if I just turn into a worse version of him.

[So there it is, the real root of this. And maybe Stan will find this worry of his absurd and dumb and laugh at him about it. Maybe he is just over thinking everything, but if he doesn't get this worry out, he'll never know.]

It's already pretty clear we're not human anymore, so what if ...that's where we're heading.

[Stan doesn't have a great filter on the best of days, so hopefully Dipper will forgive him for making a face at that question.]

Why a worse version of him? That's kinda overkill, don't you think? Bill would never worry this much about all the crap he pulls on people. That's probably a good sign, right?

[Just like how bad people don't wonder if they're bad people - apparently neither do bad triangles.]

Look, I can't tell you why we can do some of the same stuff he can do, but it doesn't make us just like him. And...I dunno, maybe we can find other ways for you to tap into your powers so they actually feel like your powers. Dont ask me how yet, but we can probably figure out something.

[Maybe this is too much, the real overkill, but it's rough hearing Dipper be this hard on himself over who he is in this new world. It boils down to Bill ruining another thing for their family and it .ales him want to fling Bill into the ocean by one of his points, like a ninja star. ]

Edited 2024-07-26 06:03 (UTC)

[Stan makes a face, but what he says does strike a chord with Dipper. It's reassurance, which, Dipper does need right now. Even if maybe he could anxiously work around if he thought hard enough about it.]

[He doesn't, though, because he is instead kind of really touched that Stan is just straight up offering to help him. Like, even if Stan thinks what he's worrying about is stupid, he's still offering to assuage those fears in some productive manner. That means the world to him.]

[And reminds him again of how unfair he's been to Stan lately.]

[Uugh, here it comes. His emotions have also been going haywire since they got to Trench and this was already enough for him to feel emotional without the unchecked empathy. Sorry Stan, he literally can't help that he just. Started crying and is trying really hard to keep it from getting worse.]

[Stan was absolutely not expecting tears. If anything he thought he'd get pushback, or some reason why it wasn't that simple or whatever. But something about what he said breaks Dipper into pieces and Stan is startled, concerned, and awkward all at once. Startcernkward? He lifts a hand up to placate him.]

Uh...I mean, we don't have to. It's just a suggestion; take it with a grain of salt, alright? We can do whatever'll help.

[Fuck, he should've just let it go. He can't really help it though, not after all the other times he's seen Dipper cry between here and Deerington. This is just the first one that doesn't seem to have an obvious cause, other than "Stan probably said the wrong thing at the wrong time".]

[Oh, and now he's backpedaling because he thinks he said the wrong thing, which makes Dipper feel even worse. All of this was stupid and sucked and Dipper can't do anything to fix it until he gets his goddamn emotions under control.]

No-

[God, even just trying to talk was way too hard right now. He forces himself to take a deep breath, but god does it all want out of him like some kind of horrible emotions demon.]

I'm the worst.

[There, the demon's expelled, now he is just going to cry in earnest for a second until he can catch his breath.]

[This time Stan bites his tongue and just lets Dipper get it all out of his system, even though he's pretty sure he should be doing something for him.

In the end he decides to get up and grab some napkins and slide them over to Dipper so he's got some tissues at least. By the time he settles back in his own seat, the crying is settling into breathing.]

...Better?

[He knows Dipper can't possibly be 100% after that, but it feels like the right thing to say, maybe.]

So, you wanna tell me what's going on?

[It's a question, but it also sort of isn't. Stan isn't going to make him, but he'll also wonder about it until he knows, and Dipper probably knows that. It's on his radar in a way it wasn't before, so it will keep coming up.]

[It feels both good and awful to get it out of his system. He feels spent and exhausted and he's already getting the distant pangs of a headache, but at the same time, there's a thrum of anxiety that isn't there anymore. He's also realizing that he just ...exploded into crying like this without any warning and now Stan is probably even more distressed. He does owe him some kind of explanation. Or confession.]

[He takes the napkins and at least tries to clean himself up.]

...Yeah. S-Sorry, I-

[Okay, try again. Get it under control. He takes a deep breath and sits back in his chair.]

...I'm sorry about ...literally everything. The stupid fight we had, where I was such a monster to you. I'm sorry that I asked if you regretted coming through the doors, like that wasn't really shitty to just say out of the blue, I don't know what's actually wrong with me, I have to be the worst nephew in the multiverse-

Open Post

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