[ Ah. Realization. He fiddles with his umbrella for a moment. That's really a lot to unpack for just a kid. Dipper's been dealing with a lot, too, so Mizuki doesn't really want to introduce all the Everything that comes with that?? ]
Mh. That's the Firstborn my sect follows. The Caerula Arbor. Rather... "followed"... I guess.
Ohh, but 'cause you're here, and this is inside the hivemind, it means We can show you Our memories!!! That'll be so much fun! Do you wanna see some? That'll be way more exciting than just sitting around waiting for me to wake up!
[Mizuki. You have literally been in his nightmares, do you not think he would actually be a pretty appropriate person to talk to about this sort of thing?]
[Anyway, unfortunately, Dipper knows exactly what Mizuki is doing. His entire family does this. You're not slick. However- maybe he will let this go for now. Maybe looking at some memories will tell him more, and also, maybe this is something they can talk about in person later.]
Okay, Mizuki, but don't think I don't know deflection when I see it. You're not off the hook yet. Luckily I do want to see some memories, so lead the way.
[ And he's also his therapist! So he knows he's already got a lot on his plate!!! Just because he's dealt with things like this before doesn't mean he should - Dipper should be doing silly and fun things.
Which Mizuki immediately grabs his hand to take him to do. There's still that watery feel of being underwater, so it's more like they're floating instead of walking. ]
Hm, maybe. I don't think it is... [ But that's mostly because he's got a very odd relationship with the hivemind. Mizuki drops it there, though, and will instead let go of Dipper for just a moment to reach down below. There's a murky, dark depth below that doesn't look any different to the blackness around them, yet Mizuki seems to "reach" his hands in all the same.
Then, out of seemingly nowhere, he pulls out a glowing blue orb, no bigger than a basketball. ]
We all share Our memories together collectively here. So there's a lot of memories there from before 'I' was even born. But, we'll stick to just 'mine' for now.
[If he had a nickel for how many times someone has said something like that to him he would- well. Its not important.]
[Anyway he's happy to be lead by Mizuki. He trusts him and whatever might be going on in the weird space, even if his powers aren't acting the way he wants them to here. He waits as Mizuki fishes around in the void for....! A ball! A glowing ball of light.]
Makes sense, I- Oh. [He is now holding this. Is it warm...] What's this? A memory?
The orb is... body temperature. In a very strange, uncanny sort of way that holding onto it makes it feel less like you're holding something and more like it's just an extension of yourself. Dipper might get the sense that this isn't... necessarily a dream? Not in the traditional sense. It's a space - a plane, a pocket, whatever you might want to call it, if it might have a name - that takes properties of a dream to make it their own. The singing voices are quiet now that Dipper is here, or maybe it's because he's with Mizuki, or maybe it's something else entirely.
There's really no telling, and pondering on it when Mizuki is already trying to pull his attention to the orb seems difficult. Look at this sea jelly, he's so excited! ]
Mhmm. Or a physical representation of one, anyway. I guess I could've make it like a movie theater, but that takes a lot of effort - and theaters are no fun without popcorn, anyway.
[ Mizuki taps the top of the orb, and in it Dipper will see Mizuki, around the same age he is now, in a gaming room with your stereotypical environment. Cords everywhere, bags of chips, soda cans. Dipper will see a face he recognizes - Sesa. And two he does not, a younger girl with horns, and a girl the same age as Mizuki with tentacles. They all seem extremely focused on what they're doing, with the sorts of things one would expect from a bunch of gamers.
[Yeah, he's been getting that vibe for a bit now, that he's in a Different kind of space. It's like not too different from how Deerington felt, given it's strange existence as a nightmare realm with pocket dimension qualities.]
[Anyway, its true his thoughts are pretty quickly cast aside in favor of following after Mizuki. He really is excited it's hard for it to not be infectious.]
Yeah, that's fair. I-
[Oh, here they are pondering the orb. Dipper is super interested in this, no matter how mundane it might seem. It's always fun to see more terrans? Their whole world is super fascinating. Sesa is also hilarious, as expected.]
[The significance of this memory does become very apparent to Dipper soon, though. As in, Dipper understands exactly why this memory is important to Mizuki, despite how "normal" it looks at first glance. Once it's over, Dipper has a soft little smile.]
...Having friends is crazy, isn't it?
[He offers the memory to him like it's something precious.]
I spent a long time thinking no one would ever really get me, so it was fine if I didn't have friends my age, and I was happy with it. When I actually made some... I dunno, it's like everything changed. I remember when Li asked me to sit with him at lunch in school in Deerington and I don't think he ever realized how much that actually meant to me.
[ Just... holding the memory for a moment before he carefully feeds it back to the murk below. ]
It's funny how much little things mean to people. And... We're certainly no different. But I think... I think it's because the small gestures show you care. They remind us of our capacity to love. It's like... the reminder that even if nothing is happening, really, that you're still being thought of?
Maybe I'm just overthinking it, though. [ He fidgets a bit with the bow on his poncho. ] I consider us friends, though. That probably breaks like some like medical ethics considering I've also been giving you therapy, but, uhh... I'm not licensed and also the police aren't here. Hehe.
By which I mean, yeah man. You're my friend, too. [He shoves his hands in his pockets and grins back at him.] I still remember when I first got here. I didn't have my family around and I was so scared that no one here was going to like me. But like, you were one of the first people to talk to me. You invited me to go mystery hunting and stuff right off the bat.
That meant just as much to me as what Li did. I'll never forget it.
Hehe... I'm a bad example. I'm always trying to make friends. You, though, you're so interesting. Humans are so keen to explore and to discover and they advance so much when they do. Like how adaptability with Seaborn works.
[ Mizuki flops to sit on the "floor", patting the spot next to him. ]
What about you, Dipper? What sorts of things are you hoping to discover and advance in your life?
I mean, that's a good quality to have, though. My sister is the same way. She could talk with someone delivering pizza at the door for thirty seconds and she'd have their email to be penpals before finishing the transaction.
[It's an insane talent that he knows he will never possess. It's always been something he's lowkey envied.]
...Huh. That's a good question. I guess...
[He frowns a little.]
I've had so many big shake ups in my life it's hard to know. I used to know exactly what I wanted to do and be, but so many things have changed. What can I focus on here? Will I be here long enough for it to matter? Will I get settled in time to be shoved off to somewhere else? I dunno.
Ehe, I said I'm always trying, not always succeeding.
[ If Dipper was not already having a seat, Mizuki's gonna reach over to tug him closer. The "ground" doesn't really feel of anything, but it's the closeness that Mizuki cares about more than anything. ]
Mmh... You know, the ocean's currents are extremely tumultuous. Despite this, We have a set destination in mind. There are always ways We would figure out how to make that path for us. Bigger, older Seaborn would give their lives, as in death Our corpses luminate the waters and act as pillars to guide the rest their way. For Us, We are focused solely on Our destination...
But my mentor says there's something inherently inhuman to not consider the journey, too. Other members of my church wanted me to train for his place - to be the next Bishop. But he'd told me that he wanted me to experience the world for myself and find what makes me happy instead.
So... to me, I think goals don't have to be... grandiose or specific? I think it's better they're not. Something to help you experience your journey, and necessarily dictate it. Like... for example, mine are that I wanna make people smile!
[Okay yes, he will have a seat. They were have a nice little powwow here on the "ground" in the murky depths. This is actually very nice now that he's pretty sure he isn't going to die.]
Your mentor sounds like a cool guy.
[But yeah, he gives that some thought. Dipper knows he is guilty of always looking at the destination, too, and trying to figure out the fasted most direct way to get there. It was a pretty big lesson when he let that way of thinking nearly wreck he and Mabel's relationship.]
[But now, when he thinks about it, he isn't sure what the destination even is anymore. To him it feels like he's been on the journey, but there's no map. While that isn't an entirely a bad thing, for someone like Dipper who likes to have a plan, it makes him a little anxious.]
Yeah. I guess I've always kind of thought it should be something grandiose and specific, but that way of thinking has got me in trouble before. I think ...for me, It's always kind of been about trying to figure out who I am, you know?
I'd like to be someone people can be proud of. Someone who can help others or someone reliable when the chips are down. Someone worthy of love and of the people around me that I care about. I'd like to look in a mirror and be happy about the person I see looking back at me.
[It's probably clear that this is something Dipper thinks about A Lot.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
No, it's cool man. Just trying to figure out what's going on.
[Right, they'd tried to talk to him, the We Many.]
They said something to me, before things got crazy and you pulled me out. "We take more." and when I asked, I got "Life".
1/2
Mh. That's the Firstborn my sect follows. The Caerula Arbor. Rather... "followed"... I guess.
...
2/2
Ohh, but 'cause you're here, and this is inside the hivemind, it means We can show you Our memories!!! That'll be so much fun! Do you wanna see some? That'll be way more exciting than just sitting around waiting for me to wake up!
no subject
[Anyway, unfortunately, Dipper knows exactly what Mizuki is doing. His entire family does this. You're not slick. However- maybe he will let this go for now. Maybe looking at some memories will tell him more, and also, maybe this is something they can talk about in person later.]
Okay, Mizuki, but don't think I don't know deflection when I see it. You're not off the hook yet. Luckily I do want to see some memories, so lead the way.
no subject
Which Mizuki immediately grabs his hand to take him to do. There's still that watery feel of being underwater, so it's more like they're floating instead of walking. ]
Hm, maybe. I don't think it is... [ But that's mostly because he's got a very odd relationship with the hivemind. Mizuki drops it there, though, and will instead let go of Dipper for just a moment to reach down below. There's a murky, dark depth below that doesn't look any different to the blackness around them, yet Mizuki seems to "reach" his hands in all the same.
Then, out of seemingly nowhere, he pulls out a glowing blue orb, no bigger than a basketball. ]
We all share Our memories together collectively here. So there's a lot of memories there from before 'I' was even born. But, we'll stick to just 'mine' for now.
Here, hold onto this.
no subject
[Anyway he's happy to be lead by Mizuki. He trusts him and whatever might be going on in the weird space, even if his powers aren't acting the way he wants them to here. He waits as Mizuki fishes around in the void for....! A ball! A glowing ball of light.]
Makes sense, I- Oh. [He is now holding this. Is it warm...] What's this? A memory?
no subject
The orb is... body temperature. In a very strange, uncanny sort of way that holding onto it makes it feel less like you're holding something and more like it's just an extension of yourself. Dipper might get the sense that this isn't... necessarily a dream? Not in the traditional sense. It's a space - a plane, a pocket, whatever you might want to call it, if it might have a name - that takes properties of a dream to make it their own. The singing voices are quiet now that Dipper is here, or maybe it's because he's with Mizuki, or maybe it's something else entirely.
There's really no telling, and pondering on it when Mizuki is already trying to pull his attention to the orb seems difficult. Look at this sea jelly, he's so excited! ]
Mhmm. Or a physical representation of one, anyway. I guess I could've make it like a movie theater, but that takes a lot of effort - and theaters are no fun without popcorn, anyway.
[ Mizuki taps the top of the orb, and in it Dipper will see Mizuki, around the same age he is now, in a gaming room with your stereotypical environment. Cords everywhere, bags of chips, soda cans. Dipper will see a face he recognizes - Sesa. And two he does not, a younger girl with horns, and a girl the same age as Mizuki with tentacles. They all seem extremely focused on what they're doing, with the sorts of things one would expect from a bunch of gamers.
In fact, it seems to be a very intense game of Tetris VS.
...
It's a fairly mundane memory, all things considered, but Mizuki seems enraptured by reliving it all the same, like it's the best thing in the world. ]
no subject
[Anyway, its true his thoughts are pretty quickly cast aside in favor of following after Mizuki. He really is excited it's hard for it to not be infectious.]
Yeah, that's fair. I-
[Oh, here they are pondering the orb. Dipper is super interested in this, no matter how mundane it might seem. It's always fun to see more terrans? Their whole world is super fascinating. Sesa is also hilarious, as expected.]
[The significance of this memory does become very apparent to Dipper soon, though. As in, Dipper understands exactly why this memory is important to Mizuki, despite how "normal" it looks at first glance. Once it's over, Dipper has a soft little smile.]
...Having friends is crazy, isn't it?
[He offers the memory to him like it's something precious.]
I spent a long time thinking no one would ever really get me, so it was fine if I didn't have friends my age, and I was happy with it. When I actually made some... I dunno, it's like everything changed. I remember when Li asked me to sit with him at lunch in school in Deerington and I don't think he ever realized how much that actually meant to me.
no subject
[ Just... holding the memory for a moment before he carefully feeds it back to the murk below. ]
It's funny how much little things mean to people. And... We're certainly no different. But I think... I think it's because the small gestures show you care. They remind us of our capacity to love. It's like... the reminder that even if nothing is happening, really, that you're still being thought of?
Maybe I'm just overthinking it, though. [ He fidgets a bit with the bow on his poncho. ] I consider us friends, though. That probably breaks like some like medical ethics considering I've also been giving you therapy, but, uhh... I'm not licensed and also the police aren't here. Hehe.
no subject
[The Pines are just Crime the Family.]
By which I mean, yeah man. You're my friend, too. [He shoves his hands in his pockets and grins back at him.] I still remember when I first got here. I didn't have my family around and I was so scared that no one here was going to like me. But like, you were one of the first people to talk to me. You invited me to go mystery hunting and stuff right off the bat.
That meant just as much to me as what Li did. I'll never forget it.
no subject
[ Mizuki flops to sit on the "floor", patting the spot next to him. ]
What about you, Dipper? What sorts of things are you hoping to discover and advance in your life?
no subject
[It's an insane talent that he knows he will never possess. It's always been something he's lowkey envied.]
...Huh. That's a good question. I guess...
[He frowns a little.]
I've had so many big shake ups in my life it's hard to know. I used to know exactly what I wanted to do and be, but so many things have changed. What can I focus on here? Will I be here long enough for it to matter? Will I get settled in time to be shoved off to somewhere else? I dunno.
no subject
[ If Dipper was not already having a seat, Mizuki's gonna reach over to tug him closer. The "ground" doesn't really feel of anything, but it's the closeness that Mizuki cares about more than anything. ]
Mmh... You know, the ocean's currents are extremely tumultuous. Despite this, We have a set destination in mind. There are always ways We would figure out how to make that path for us. Bigger, older Seaborn would give their lives, as in death Our corpses luminate the waters and act as pillars to guide the rest their way. For Us, We are focused solely on Our destination...
But my mentor says there's something inherently inhuman to not consider the journey, too. Other members of my church wanted me to train for his place - to be the next Bishop. But he'd told me that he wanted me to experience the world for myself and find what makes me happy instead.
So... to me, I think goals don't have to be... grandiose or specific? I think it's better they're not. Something to help you experience your journey, and necessarily dictate it. Like... for example, mine are that I wanna make people smile!
...Does that make sense?
no subject
Your mentor sounds like a cool guy.
[But yeah, he gives that some thought. Dipper knows he is guilty of always looking at the destination, too, and trying to figure out the fasted most direct way to get there. It was a pretty big lesson when he let that way of thinking nearly wreck he and Mabel's relationship.]
[But now, when he thinks about it, he isn't sure what the destination even is anymore. To him it feels like he's been on the journey, but there's no map. While that isn't an entirely a bad thing, for someone like Dipper who likes to have a plan, it makes him a little anxious.]
Yeah. I guess I've always kind of thought it should be something grandiose and specific, but that way of thinking has got me in trouble before. I think ...for me, It's always kind of been about trying to figure out who I am, you know?
I'd like to be someone people can be proud of. Someone who can help others or someone reliable when the chips are down. Someone worthy of love and of the people around me that I care about. I'd like to look in a mirror and be happy about the person I see looking back at me.
[It's probably clear that this is something Dipper thinks about A Lot.]
Haha, sorry. That probably sounds like a lot.