ghostharasser | Open Post

[Stan wiggles his hand.]

Eh, probably about fifty-fifty depending what you've seen. Silver burns, but that's pretty much only gonna be a problem if some weirdo actually shoots you with a silver bullet - half the things people say are silver aren't, so it's pretty good for figuring out if somebody's scamming you.

[Which is the only reason Stan's ever had to think about the whole silver thing, to be totally honest.]

For everything else, it waxes and wanes - pun intended. Y'know how the moon controls ocean tides? It's kinda like that, except it's your whole body. It takes some getting used to, but basically around the full moon you're gonna feel like absolute garbage. You can't possibly miss that the full moon is coming, 'cause you're gonna feel like death warmed over. But then by the time new moon rolls around you're gonna feel more like yourself. It kinda...tugs and pulls on you, I guess? Either way, you're not gonna be one of those werewolves that can just rip off their shirt and turn whenever they want. That's never been real.

[Mabel cries out in disappointment where she's sitting - "Is EVERYTHING I love a lie?!" Stan ignores her.]

Full moon's obviously the big one. You're gonna turn, and it's-- it ain't great. It hurts like hell and then you just sorta black out 'til the morning. You always gotta make sure you're somewhere safe where you can't get at anybody, cause there's no knowing what the wolf did or didn't do.

[Dipper laments that he did not bring one of his notebooks downstairs with him. He’ll just have to pay close attention and write it all down later.]

[He frowns in thought as Stan talks. Some of it is stuff he knows about, some of it really isn’t. The stuff about the moon phases making you feel terrible is new and sounds incredibly unpleasant, so he makes a note to keep an eye on that.]

[When he gets to the last part, the part that Dipper was the most nervous to learn about, the dread drops in his stomach and he feels a very uncomfortable chill under his skin. A painful transformation and a total blackout. Not unheard of, but basically the worst case scenario in most werewolf lore. Great.]

[He takes a deep breath for a moment, trying not to seem like that had rattled him before he speaks up. His voice waver only a little bit.]

So, there’s no control over it, then. Where ...um. Where do you usually go? If that’s the case.

...No, there isn't.

[The admission is heavy, and probably far from what Dipper wants to hear. There's no getting around it though - not anymore. Not now that he's been bit.

A quiet falls over the table, and Stan hesitates at the question. He's been thinking about it constantly since they found Dipper, since it became apparent what he would become. Still, he can't make the words at first. Where the hell does he even begin?]

Tell you what. Once you kids finish eating, I'll show you! Trust me, you're never gonna believe it if I just say it. Besides, you always like a good mystery, right?

[Stan winks!]

I can tell you my spot's pretty good though, especially if it had you two fooled.

[It isn’t what he wants to hear at all, and he can already feel that part of him that wants to just coil up in anxiety and scream, but he’d much rather have the truth then for Stan to sugarcoat it. If he knows what to expect, then he can make a plan.]

[The rest that Stan says, has him looking up at his uncle in what’s outright confusion. What ...a weird answer to that question! He’s almost kind of taken aback by it.]

[But Stan does have a point. He does like a good mystery, and he can already feel the overwhelming curiosity start to well up.]

No kidding. I- yeah. Okay, I can’t wait.

[And he’ll nudge at Mabel, who nudges at him back because frankly how dare he try to rush her through her pancakes. He will go back to eating, and finish up very quickly, and then just stare at Mabel until she groans and also hurries.]

[If he had a tail, clearly it would be wagging.]

[Stan can't help laughing as he watches the two of them. At least he can make this fun - or try his best, at least.

When the two of them finish up, Stan clears the table and then decides to stop and wash the small amount of dishes they made. It's a five minute job, but a five minute job he has literally never done immediately after a meal the entire time they've been there. It's a five minute job he's probably literally never done after a meal ever.]

So, you kids got any guesses? I didn't leave the Shack, so I've gotta hide somewhere around here, right?

[Mabel looks like her brain itches a little bit, and then she gasps and goes starry-eyed. "PUPPY CRATE! A REALLY big puppy crate!"]

[Why is he washing the dishes. Stan has never stopped and washed the dishes right after breakfast. Are you kidding him, right now? Is he stalling?]

[Dipper starts to tap on the table with his fingers both impatient and antsy at the same time.]

The shack is full of hidden rooms, isn’t it? Didn’t we find an entire abandoned parlor once?

Oh yeah! The one I locked those creepy wax guys in because they kept coming alive and messing with me at night.

[Everything is different now, reframed, but Stan still tries to keep it light. The truth of the matter is that once he figured out their transformation was caused by moon cycles, he made the executive decision to make them disappear. Lock them away, so they can't hurt anyone.

...And then he let them out because the kids found them and what was he supposed to do? Admit the supernatural was real? Pfft.]

There's a few of those around here, but this one...

[Stan puts the last plate away and drops the dishrag on the counter.]

This one's the granddaddy of them all. Ready to go?

You knew about the-!! [Dipper cuts off because as incredulous as he is, he isn’t actually that surprised, and the fact that he didn’t catch that sooner is something he is kicking himself for. Of course, he knew.]

[Everything Is Different Now.]

[Anyway, some of his frustration starts to manifest as wolffish and his voice has juuuust a little undercurrent of a growl.]

I’ve been ready for like twenty minutes! This had better be as cool as you’re making it out to be.

Alright, alright! I promise, it's even cooler than whatever you're picturing. C'mon.

[He waves a hand, gesturing for the kids to follow - might as well bring Mabel too. No sense in hiding any of this from her if he's not gonna be hiding it from Dipper.

Perhaps to their surprise, Stan doesn't actually lead them deeper into the house. Instead he turns into the living room, and then through the door that leads into the gift shop. It's closed for the day, but with summer days the way they are early evening has only just started to creep in. It casts an eerie glow over the place.

To add to the drama of the moment, Stan doesn't turn on the lights.]

Both of you, turn around and look over there. [Stan gestures vaguely at the gift shop door.] And no peeking!

[Once they turn away, Stan starts punching a code into the vending machine. Just because he's showing them the basement doesn't mean he wants them knowing the code to get down there whenever they feel like it.]

[The both follow him quietly all the way to the gift shop, occasionally sharing curious and confused glances. Once they get to the vending machine, Dipper raises an eyebrow but he complies. He stuffs his hands in his pockets with a frown.]

If you wanted to grab a snack you could have just said something.

[Because, Dipper honestly doesn’t know where this is going besides the very real possibility of Stan just fucking with them. For all he knows, Stan’s grabbing some jerky and then he’s going to lead them to a secret room on the other side of the house.]

I'm not getting a snack.

[Honestly if he was he wouldn't bother punching the codes in at all - he'd just open the machine and take it.

There are five distinct button presses, and then...stranger sounds happen. The sound of something pressurized releasing. The creak of a heavy metal door swinging slowly open. A heavy sigh from Stan.]

Okay. ...You can turn around.

[And when they do, Stan is standing at the top of a hidden passageway that leads down a set of stairs. He's holding a lantern firmly in hand.]

[Oh whoa, what the heck were those noises. The vending machine definitely didn’t make sounds like that normally. It takes everything he has not to just turn around there but he keeps his word.]

[When the twins both turn around, they’re met with ...something that’s honestly hard to process. It’s a whole freaking secret passage. Behind the vending machine!! This whole time!! They both stand there slack jawed for a few moments before Dipper just kind of sputters.]

Are you- Whoa! Grunkle Stan, what the heck!?

[Even so, he’s already walking towards the stairs. Obviously he wants a closer look. This is the coolest fucking thing every.]

[Mabel bounds forward as well, and Stan smiles but...he seems sort of nervous, and rubs the back of his neck with his hand.]

Heh. ...You don't even know the half of it.

[He steels himself after that, and leans right back into the showmanship as he starts down the stairs.]

Alright, follow me - and shut the vending machine on your way down, would ya? Don't wanna let the air of mystery out!

[The stairs are dimly lit, hence the lantern. When they get to the bottom, Stan's already punched in a code for a secret elevator, and the doors to it open wide. He turns to them as though it's totally normal to have an elevator under your house.]

All board!

[What an ominous thing to say! Dipper tucks that away but doesn’t let it stop his unbridled curiosity as he follows Stan down the stairs. It did seem like Stan was nervous, but he covers it up quickly enough that Dipper shrugs it off.]

[He’s being hammy against, anyway, so clearly things are fine.]

[The get to the elevator and Dipper stops again, astonished silent for the second time in four minutes.]

That’s an elevator! Where even are we now? If you have some kind of secret lab under the Shack, I am going to absolutely lose it.

[He gets in.]

[Stan lets Dipper excitedly babble and doesn't really try to get a word in edgewise. Those nerves creep right back in as he goes on though, and Stan drums his fingers against the wall of the elevator.]

See, uh. The thing about that is--

[Mercifully, the elevator jerks to a halt and opens...

...into what looks like a real secret lab.]

[Mabel would probably be making fun of the expression on Dipper’s face if she weren’t also extremely surprised and awestruck.]

[Dipper, meanwhile has gone incredibly quiet in shock, while he tries to cope with how insane this was. Machines lining the walls- old but all definitely very secret lab-esque. Screens reading data, lights flashing, a soft but very potent hum permeates the air around them.]

[The only indication that he is indeed, losing it, is the fact that he has grown an impressive amount of fur in his surprise and his ears have popped into furry points.]

Holy shit.

[He slaps his hand over his mouth.]

[Mabel gasps, not just at the cussing but...everything about what just happened to Dipper. It actually distracts her from the big reveal, and Dipper will feel a little hand reach out and impulsively poke the tip of his ear.]

Hey! Language!

[It feels kind of half-hearted in the moment though, considering where they are and what they're doing there. Stan leads them past the machines, past the periscope that lets him see what's going on outside, and over to the control panel so the kids can see through the protective glass to a big, wide room with a huge triangular machine inside. The desk itself has a framed picture of Dipper and Mabel making goofy faces on it - Stan spends a lot of time down here, even when it isn't the full moon.]

I shut myself in there during full moon. [He jerks a thumb to the door that leads in.] The door's thick steel, so once I'm in the wolf can't get out.

[That's the only information he volunteers right away, and it raises so many more questions than it answers.]

[He says a muffled sorry! through his hand before he lets it fall. Of course, then something touches him in a weird way, and he full-body shudders when the reaction was for his entire ear to twitch. He slaps his hands over them in alarm. Oh god, they move.]

[He gives Mabel and startled, wide-eyed stare, at which she seems totally unrepentant over as she decides now is a good time to skip over to Stan and actually pay attention again.]

[Dipper lowers his hands, pausing to look them over for a moment as they are much hairier and clawed than they were before, and steps tentatively towards the end of the hall. The room the open into is somehow ten times more incredible than the hall was, and dipper stares once more, totally robbed of words.]

Grunkle Stan- [He’s about to ask him what they were looking at before something catches his eye. On the desk, in a cubby with some other books, is the spine of something incredibly familiar. It’s tilted just enough that Dipper can see the cover is emblazoned in a distinctive and damning six-fingered hand.]

[Dipper strings the dots together in a panic and his stutters.]

You’re the Author. How-!!

Edited 2021-01-02 04:07 (UTC)

[His reaction is...interesting.

The accusation hits Stan like a brick and catches him completely off-guard. Of all the things for Dipper to notice right now, of all the things he could have asked about, of course it's the journal. He puts his hands up and actually takes a step back.]

What?! N-No, you've it wrong, I--

[What does he even say to that though? How can he even begin to explain any of that whole mess and his part in it? He may have taken his brother's name and his house, but there's no way he can pull off knowing all the nerd junk Ford knows.

...But then Stan remembers Dipper has no idea what he knows. He doesn't know Stan spotted Journal 3 in his vest pocket, and he doesn't know Stan "borrowed" it to make copies while he was out cold for two days. Thankfully he put it back before Dipper woke up, but the point still stands that there's one way out of this corner and that's to turn everything around on Dipper.]

Wait. ...How do you know about the Journals?

[That ...is a weird reaction. It’s enough to snap Dipper out of what strange conspiracy spiral he was currently falling down, trying to move all his red strings around to justify how Stan could possibly have been the Author all this time.]

[He’s denying it, but not in the way Stan would usually deny or lie about something. He looks ...distressed, about the accusation. Not at all what he expected like- maybe a cocky laugh? Or something like that?]

[Ah, and then Dipper realizes Stan has turned it on him. It’s his turn to sputter and step back, not sure how he’s going to answer that.]

I um! Hahaha, you see- about that.

[Oh god, he’s probably going to be in trouble for this but. Well. If he wants answers he kind of needs to give up the goods, doesn’t he.]

...I found one in the woods. On one of the first days here in Gravity Falls.

On your first day?!

[There's a flash of gold in his eyes for a second and pointed teeth. He's been here thirty goddamn years and Dipper stumbles on it two minutes after he gets here?! How?!

He isn't actually mad at Dipper though, or Mabel. He just. He needs to sit for a second. He pulls the little green rolling chair over and plops down with a sigh. A quick rub of his eyes as though he has a headache is all it takes to make the gold go away.]

Kid...I've been looking for these books longer than you've been alive.

[Hesitantly, he reaches for the one Dipper saw - Journal 1, emblazoned with the same six fingered hand as the 3rd - and pulls it out for them to see. It's been well-taken care of and anyone who investigates it will be able to clearly see their own face reflecting off of it.]

It's a pretty long story, but...the short version is they're all I've got left of my brother.

You were the one that made me go hang the signs in the woods!

[He might not actually be mad at them, but that reaction sets Dipper off before he can do anything to stop it. Not that he could, anyway. He backs up, with his hackles metaphorically raised.]

[When all Stan does is sit down and rub his face, he starts to settle back down, letting the weird burst of adrenaline work its way out of him. It was kind of an intense reaction, and one of those things that’s probably going to take time for him to get used. The surreality of it takes some wind out of Dipper’s sails about the whole Author thing.]

-Sorry. Sorry, I-

[Wait, go back- his what?]

Your brother?

[If he'd known he could have found the journal hanging signs he would have hung the stupid things himself! But, it is what it is now and there's no going back.]

Yeah, my brother. Not Shermie, obviously - I've got another one. Did, uh. ...Did anyone ever tell you kids twins run in the family?

[This is all too sentimental for Stan though and he feels this impulsive need to just rip the band-aid off now and get it over with. It's the hardest part, after all - admitting the parts that might actually make the kids hate him.]

Anyway, I've got a few pretty big bombshells left - which one do you want first? The one where I accidentally knocked my brother into the multiverse or the one where I sorta stole his identity for thirty years to try and fix it? [He crosses his arms defensively and shrugs.] I'm not picky. They're both pretty terrible stories, if you ask me.

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